Sort by: Relevance | Most Recent | Most Active | Highest Rated

We found 10 result(s) that match your search "fear":

I didn't sleep enough Wednesday night, so by Thursday afternoon my eyelids were heavy and my body was screaming out "Sleep! Sleep!" So a little after five in the afternoon, I decided to take a quick nap. A little power nap to recharge my batteries before diving into study and cleaning mode to prepare for the coming weekend.

 

My blood sugar was at 222 with only a little active insulin. I'd been high in the early afternoon and hadn't accurately bolused for a late lunch. I decided to leave it alone until after my nap though...giving my body an hour or two to use that remaining insulin and peak out.

 

I curled up in bed with my cat and a good book...falling asleep within a few minutes. It was a dreamless sleep...too deep to notice the world around me or the world inside me. A limitless fatigue overwhelming every inch of my body and soul. The effects of ineffective sleeping and the recent change in medications.

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (0)

---

I've been in an emotional slump these past few days. I'm staying really busy and trying to keep my mind on other things, but mostly I just want to move and have my old life back where I live alone, hang out with Marvin, and have fun with my friends. Even if it means working full time or going to graduate school. I just really need that.

 

Stress hits me hard sometimes. It can really affect my health. Not my blood sugars usually, but the joint pain and the emotions and all the other issues that I deal with spiral out of control when I'm stressed. And I'm feeling incredibly stressed this past week.

 

I know that this is a transition period for me. I know that things will work out. But right now, I am just feeling so vulnerable with everything. I haven't found the right job. I'm waiting to hear back about graduate school. I have no idea when I might be able to move. Vulnerability really doesn't sit well with me.

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (2)

---

Olivia recently pulled a stunt that simultaneously scared the crap out of me and made me madder that a sack full of wet cats.

She, against my instructions, set up an account on My Space. I found out she had it a while ago and would check her site every few days just to make sure everything was kept above board. She mostly used it to talk to her friends and to check out celebrities like Hannah Freakin' Montana. Oy. I let her know that I knew about it and that I was checking it out and she was fine with that.

Until this weekend, however. She changed her age to read 17 (she's 13) and some random guy contacted her. They talked for a bit until he started getting graphic at which point, she told him to leave her alone. What made me angry was that she gave the guy her name, her school and her address. What sent me thru the roof was that I didn't hear this from her, but rather from the vice principal at her school. Yeah, that one went over well.
(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (0)

---

I’m not afraid of needles, but I must admit that I’m a little fearful of the bloodwork I’m scheduled to have in a few weeks.
 

Since I finally found an endo practice that I enjoy (yes, I know I still haven’t blogged about it yet!), they naturally want their own bloodwork. Which is great. And fine with me. It’s just the type of bloodwork that’s being done that’s leaving me a little uneasy.
 

I know it shouldn’t. And, really, I’m not uneasy I’m just kind of … I don’t know… just nervous? anxious? curious?
 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (0)

---

Yesterday I posted about my toe problem and I wanted to dig a little deeper into the fear that accompanies any little thing like a spot on my toe.

 

Ever since I was diagnosed with this stupid disease I have be told horrible stories of all the complications that can happen to me. Going blind, losing a limb, kidney’s failing, heart disease, neuropathy, stroke and more. All very real and very scary stuff.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (0)

---

Fear of needles. Fear of blood. Fear of hospitals or doctors. These are all normal phobias in the world. People commonly relate to one or all of these fears, whether from bad experiences, horror stories or movies/TV shows.

 

But for a diabetic, what are our fears? Of course, many diabetics deal with the fear of needles, blood or hospitals/doctors. I'm fine with the needles and the blood, but I have a strong dislike towards doctors. I wouldn't say I'm afraid of them, but I don't particularly like to hear what they have to say (this stems from every doctor's appointment in my past that I would leave crying from because my control just wasn't good enough).

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (0)

---

The recession has finally caught up to my employer, who has painstakingly tried to shield us from it as much as possible. However, next month may bring a restructuring that may include layoffs. No one knows yet who may or may not be on the chopping block.
 

I’ve been unemployed before and it sucks. And I don’t want to do it again. But then, I didn’t have diabetes. Then, I didn’t rely on an insulin pump to stay healthy. Now, I think being unemployed would be a much worse situation.
 

When I heard the news about what may happen next month my first thoughts were about how we would continue to pay the two mortgages (no, the house in Missouri hasn’t sold yet!), buy groceries and continue to provide the basics for our family without losing our minds. The thoughts of how I would continue to pay for my health care needs were delayed, strangely.
 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (0)

---

I haven’t been very good about sharing our CGM experiences so far. Sorry about that. So busy lately. There’s always something going on. Today we celebrated Ben’s fifth birthday with a carnival-themed party in the back yard. I’m still picking whipped cream from my ears and eyeballs from the pie throw game. Seemed like a good idea on paper. Man, those kids launched those pies at me with a vengeance!

 

So, the CGM (continuous glucose monitor).

 

Started off really good. Got a little bad. Then good again. And bad at the moment. Not so much the accuracy of it. That’s been surprisingly on the money for the most part. Just some of the baggage and burdens of it affecting Charlie.

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (7)

---

It has been a long time since I had a hypoglycemia-related seizure.  Over a year.  This, compared to monthly convulsive insulin reactions when I was in my twenties and early thirties.  I am thankful for a break which appears to have some promise of permanence.  But a break doesn't eliminate fear. 

 

My roommate heads back to Texas tomorrow morning.  Leaving me with this apartment, and on my own for the first time ever.  I have to admit, the idea of an apartment of my own is in some ways very nice.   Space.  Time.  Quiet.  Peace.  But I am also terrified.  Afraid that diabetes and its accompanying life-threatening dangers will visit in the night.  

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (2)

---

So much has happened this week that I can't even begin to express what is going through both my head and my heart in any logical form. I feel like life suddenly did a 180 degree turn. The kind of turn that you KNOW is there but still gets you EVERY time. I mean, I knew that life had to fall into place for me at some point. But when it actually happened, I was nearly dumbstruck.

 

First, Tuesday brought about my graduate school acceptance as well as a job interview from resumes I mailed out. Wednesday brought a second job interview that I am truly excited about and the finalization of my move on September 14th. Thursday, we had some family issues. Friday, I received my diploma in my hands instead of the promised "you'll get it eventually."

 

(READ MORE)

Rating (0) 0

Email this Comments (1)

---