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There's a lot on my mind lately. Some good, some bad, some neutral. Mostly, it's confusion and decisions. And mostly, it has to do with my health...of course.

I started a new prescription called Spironolactone (or Aldactone) on September 1 to help with the side effects of my PCOS. It's supposed to take about three months to truly see results, but I feel like I'm already seeing some effects. My skin, although still breaking out, is not nearly as bad as it was a few weeks ago. Granted, I'm using tea tree oil and Mederma religiously. So I can't really say if the "Spiro" is helping for sure, but it obviously isn't hurting in that area.

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This morning, I went for a second opinion on my current reproductive status. Back in late August, my Well Woman Exam turned into a possible endometriosis diagnosis. So I decided to go for another opinion before pursuing further treatment options.

And I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by the doctor. New doctors are always interesting, especially those related to gynecology. But this doctor reinforced the idea that doctors can actually be helpful, understanding, and interested in what you actually feel or need.

So his opinion was that endometriosis is the likely choice as to the causes of some of my reproductive issues. Since I've tried most of the obvious treatment choices (NSAIDs, birth control pills, and pain management), the next step for a woman my age is surgery.

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Weaning off then completely stopping the progesterone has been interesting. I've definitely felt my old symptoms come back, like I mentioned last week. A drop in mood, fatigue, and some of the joint pain are the main issues. But there have also been positive changes.

Like the level of pre-period pelvic pain didn't start the usual two weeks out. Of course, my period could be another two weeks away since they are incredibly irregular. But so far, I've only had maybe 2 days of pelvic pain as opposed to a usual 5-10 days. If I could limit it without progesterone, the endometriosis surgery might completely clear whatever else is causing the pain. We'll have to wait to see about that one though.

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I had my follow up appointment with my gynecologist today, following the laparascopy that I had back in the middle of November. He showed me the pictures of every lower abdominal organ...apparently quite pleased with my overall anatomy and "beautiful" blood vessels. Talk about a man who loves his job!

Dr. B (who I simply will not quit raving about) found and removed a small spot of endometriosis (or what he assumes is that considering it was actually quite microscopic) in the cul-de-sac between my uterus and cervix. I'm really pleased to hear this because that's the precise spot that I felt the pain most and the spot that I knew there had to be something weird about. He also removed some scar tissue on or near my colon (this was less exciting so I stopped paying as much attention). He wasn't sure if this was from a virus, endometriosis, or some random body oddity.

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Sadly, I've been watching a lot of TV lately. The whole no school and no job thing leaves me with a lot of free time. This morning I was watching the Today show. A segment on infertility came on as soon as I switched the TV on.

As a woman with type 1 diabetes, PCOS, and endometriosis, infertility has become a definite part of my vocabulary. No doctor has told me that I am infertile and I'm in no place to need to know. Infertility is just something that's been listed on my possible "side effects" and "symptoms" list and something that I've tossed over in my mind.

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Last week was Invisible Illness Week which I missed thanks to my crazy work schedule and inactivity here in the blogosphere. But there was a "30 Things About My Invisible Illness" meme floating around that I really wanted to get in on. So here it is:

1. The illness(es) I live with is/are: Type 1 Diabetes, PCOS, and endometriosis

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1993 and 2009

3. But I had symptoms since: Two to three weeks before. I got sick very quickly with the D. The PCOS/endometriosis took several years to diagnosis.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: I have no idea considering that I don't remember what life was like before this. I'd say in recent years, the biggest thing has been bolusing for even the tiniest amount of carbs that go into my mouth.

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I haven't posted much on my other health conditions lately. Ever since taking Accutane, my PCOS seems to be much less of a concern. And my endometriosis is now something that I've adjusted to. But lately, I'm really feeling the physical and emotional strain of these other conditions.

The Accutane cleared my skin completely, although it did nothing for the hyperpigmentation and scarring left behind. My breakouts are now only happening around my period, although they are getting worse with each month. Nothing too alarming yet. I've been taking vitamin A every day for the past few months. I increased it the week of my last period which seemed to help that problem.

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When you look at me, what do you see? Do you just see the physical girl standing in front of you? Or do the emotions, the spirituality, the thoughts creep through as well?

When I look in the mirror, I see that I'm tall for a girl. I see that I have my father's blue eyes and the Guerin nose. I also see that my mother's side of the family shows through with the curve of my hips. When I look at me, I see my family staring back at me. Each part of my body comes from the genetics behind me. The resemblance in facial structure to my middle brother...the same fair skin of my mom and oldest brother...the small wrists that are present in all three siblings.

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I am the perfect procrastinator. It's an art that I've mastered over the last...twenty-one years, I'm sure. On everything. From homework, papers, health, doctor's appointments, family get togethers, dinner. You name it, I've procrastinated doing it.

Unfortunately, a big chunk of my recent procrastination is my diabetes. I keep making these deadlines for myself...saying I'll do it next week or starting tomorrow or starting at the first of the year. But am I doing it? That's a big, fat, stinking NO.

And I think I'm more upset by my lack of will power than the actual fact that I'm letting this disease run away with me. But I just feel so overwhelmed still.

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I've had off and on bladder pain for several years now. The endometriosis surgery that I had in November was supposed to have fixed it, but I'm not so sure it did. Sunday, I developed vice-like bladder pain that would not go away with ibuprofen. I started drinking tons of water then headed to the doctor on Monday.

The doctor said that my white blood count in my urine was slightly elevated, but nothing else showed signs of an infection or kidney problem. I was prescribed 10 days of antibiotics just in case, which I started immediately.

My bladder pain had gone away on Monday. But by Tuesday night (two whole days into the antibiotics and lots of cranberry later), my bladder pain had turned into kidney and side discomfort. Just a general malaise. I wasn't feeling up to myself, just out of sorts.

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