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February 9th, 2012
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Olivia and I trekked in to Boston today, to visit her endo at Joslin. How I loathe that drive. It's two hours and the last 20 miles take at least 45 minutes. Today it took an hour. Holy god, the potholes on Route 9 could swallow a Mack truck.

Anyway. We navigated the Parking Garage Of Doom (otherwise known as Pilgrim St.) and were only (only!) 25 minutes late. I hate being late. It makes me itch.

The endo saw us right away - and Kerri, I told her you said hello. She was very happy to hear how well you're doing. The visit went well, although her A1C went from a 7.7% to an 8.1%. I hate that number. I know it's not supposed to, but it always feels like a failing grade when it gets high like that. Her doctor said it was fine, to be expected in a hormonal (and how!) teenager, but still. I don't like it. It makes my brain go down paths I'd rather they not travel, y'know?
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Olivia had an endo appointment last week, in Boston. We make the drive in every three months and while it's an all-day affair, we both really like her endo team and feel the trip is worth the effort.

After dealing with the horrible traffic on the Mass Pike and Route 9, after wrangling two toddlers plus their gear plus Olivia's gear and after managing to make it thru the Garage Of Doom without scraping my bumper on a single wall, we arrived.

 

Olivia was seeing her CDE today. When we initially started going to Joslin, I wasn't crazy about this woman, but she's really grown on me and we have a good relationship now. She's very down to earth and forthright and I love that in a health care provider. The whole reason we switched from UMass to Joslin was because I felt the endo they had there was very wishy-washy.

 

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Well, as you may have read in one of my earlier posts, I had my appointment yesterday with my endocronologist. I had also told you I was hoping for a good A1c and I knew if my test wasn't good, I could expect to have the "you're a great candidate for the pump" talk. Well, I got my test results back and I can honestly say that I had one of the highest A1c's that I have had in years. I was very dissapointed. I am actually so ashamed, embarrassed, and frustrated that I don't even want to share my number with you. Maybe, if you're reading this and you are diabetic like me, then you can relate to this feeling of not wanting anyone else to see your score. I even go out of my way to hide my blood glucose reading every time I test. I'll be the first one to admit that this fear comes from being insecure about what other people might think of me. Or fear that someone might make a judgement of either my health or my diabetes management based on the number. (READ MORE)


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As if it weren't bad enough that I'm in a group OB practice and see a different doctor just about every visit, they've added a new doctor to the mix. So today's visit was with yet another doctor, who doesn't know me, and doesn't bother to read the chart...
For eight months now, another doctor, in another office, with another specialty (ie endocrinology), has followed my diabetes. Last OB visit was the first time they wanted to actually see my logs. So this visit I bring them, one chart for pre and post meal numbers, which don't tell the whole story, and another one that shows everything. You know, those lows between meals and the random highs that come out of nowhere.
Doctors who are not specifically trained in diabetes management have no business at all whatsoever looking at my blood sugar charts. (READ MORE)


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Since I changed my endocrinilogist last year, I've really been happy with my experiences with Dr. K. She's the kind of doctor that means business but doesn't come off as if she's judging you. She tells you what she thinks, but leaves it up to you what to do. So usually, I'm fairly excited (yes, I said excited) about going to see her. Even when I know I've been doing 85% of things wrong.

 

This appointment didn't feel that way though. I just really didn't want to have to go. I've been making some changes and my averages are down. I didn't want to hear that I'd been doing this and this wrong, even if she does leave off the judgement. I just wasn't willing to expose all those mistakes to the light.

 

And I feel torn between wishing I would have canceled and being excited about the outcome.

 

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I want to think a fellow blogger, Carey Potash, for the idea behind this blog. It was him that I got the motivation to write this entry. Thanks man. You're a great father and you do an amazing job with your child with diabetes.
I hate going to my Endocronologist. I can't stand the overcrowdedness, the parking, some of the staff (you know who you are), the blood work (see my post entitled, "Disappointing Endo Visit"), The rookie University medical students, and the list goes on forever. (READ MORE)


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I've got that nervy, kinda sick feeling.  A type of cold feet, but all in my mind.  Maybe it's butterflies I feel, but it's not really in my tummy.  I'm dreading the stop on the scale on the way back to the tiny little interview (maybe I should call it interrogation, that seems more accurate) room.

 

It's Endo-Nerves.  Tomorrow is my endocrinologist visit.  It's only been a couple months, but with my impending insurance (maybe I should call it un-surance) upheaval, I'm going in a few weeks early.  

 

This may be the last time I go to this particular doctor (maybe I should call her Physcian's Assistant, that seems much more accurate).  Since I won't be commuting up to work following my lay-off, it's really silly to consider driving over an hour each way to see this highly rated and very popular specialist (and his minions, AKA PAs).  

 

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It's a shame in a way that such little things can be so influential.

 

By now you've read about my struggle to find an endocrinologist since moving to Phoenix. The first doctor I saw? What a joke. And then to Mayo where I loved the staff, but couldn't afford the out of network bills. While I've been mostly satisfied with Dr. R's office I have felt for a while that I settled on this office. And I don't really want the bad karma, but I seriously think I did settle.

 

And I think that point was driven home last week when a friend of mine saw a different doctor at Dr. R's practice. Her first experience there was much like my first endo experience here. She was completely unsatisfied and has vowed to never go back.

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I know I'm not the only one to have gone through this.

 

I have an issue with my endo's office and renewing my prescriptions. I get my insulin and my thyroid medication through my endo's office. I see the nurse practitioner, K, as often as she asks me to. I get my routine blood work, I show up to my appointments on time.

 

I understand that the reason providers only give patients a certain number of refills is so that patients will check in with their providers to make sure the medication is working, is still the right one for them, that the dosage is the right one, blah, blah, blah. I GET THAT.

 

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I thought seriously about postponing my endo appointment scheduled for this morning. I hadn’t seen the doc since August, when my A1C was 7.6. I didn’t think I was doing any better than I had been doing in August. In fact, I was pretty sure I was doing worse.

 

Thanks to some pretty crappy eating habits, some stress and dealing with worn out pump sites, I suspected my A1C was going to be ridiculously high. I even imagined myself telling the nurse to not tell me the number, to just write it down and let me look at it when I was ready. And then I realized that was stupid because how is the doc going to help me if we don’t talk specifically about what my A1C is.

 

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Robert Hudson
Robert HudsonRob Rummel-Hudson is a writer and Type 2 diabetic living in the Dallas area. His book, Schuyler's Monster, will be published by St. Martin's Press in 2008. He can also be found at Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords.(Read More)
Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Our Other Bloggers: Carey Potash, Brenda Bell, Nicole Purcell, Michelle Kowalski, Megan, MikeDurbin, Julia, George Simmons, Scott Marvel, Kim Doty, Kerri Sparling,