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We found 10 result(s) that match your search "emotional control":

Today, I'm feeling very raw. You know that kind of emotion that leaves everything sitting on the edge, just waiting to burst through the dam? Today is one of those days. Where I could laugh, sing, cry, weep, or punch somebody at the drop of a hat.

 

It's an emotional state that's been building over the past few weeks. And today is the culmination of all that time compressed into a few moments of completely raw emotion.

 

School was rough the last few weeks. With an insane amount of tests and papers, I was running myself ragged trying to keep up, catch up, and finish up. Although it's over, I'm still a bit flustered from it all. Grades aren't published yet and the perfectionist in me is still angry over a bad test and a poor paper.

 

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This might be a little tough for me to write because, frankly, it was a little tough for me to hear. Especially coming from such a tough guy.

 

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Sometimes I think it's really hard to separate my life from my diabetes. I've been diabetic since before I can even remember so life has always involved this disease. Now that I'm over sixteen years in, it makes the separation even more difficult. How can I cut out the one part of my life that takes over every second of every day?

 

There was a time when that was easier. A time when I didn't follow every action or thought with something diabetes related. A time where most people didn't know that I was diabetic or see the results of my diabetes in my life. But sadly, that was a time with little control. It's a stage that I went through that I don't want to go back to.

 

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I've been thinking more about the possibility of adding insulin to my Type 2 treatment. My last post about it raised some interesting comments. I have a bunch of blood test results due in this week that will help make the decision too.
I do know that insulin is just a medication like my thyroid pills or the metformin I take. The only difference is the method of delivery. Since insulin is destroyed by stomach acids, it has to be injected to do any good.
I also know that it really does carry a stigma that other medications do not. For me, it seems an admission that I am not holding up my end of the bargain treating my diabetes. I should be losing more weight, exercising and eating better. I think just about everyone can agree with that statement - with Type 1, Type 2 or no diabetes at all. (READ MORE)

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Today I... am recovering from a very emotional evening in which crying ensued for no reason, but I suspect it was due to a string of terrible blood sugars, including swinging from 202 to 53 to 135 within the course of several hours.

 

Today I... would really like to go in the bathroom and cry. Or just go home and cry.

 

Today I... am trying not to angrily march over to the next cube and show the lady talking about how bad her allergy shots hurt all the infusion set scars on my belly.

 

Today I... considered talking to my coworkers about World Diabetes Day, but I don't have the mental energy.

 

Today I... am struggling with a funk I've been in for about a week that is likely due to not having even one in-range blood sugar reading unless by accident, miracle or lack of food.

 

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The other night I had a breakdown.

 

I needed to wear a nice shirt for work and none of them fit. I threw most of my clothes in the trash and was very upset about how fat I've become.

 

I have a closet full of clothes that I have outgrown. I have gained all the weight I lost and a lot more!

 

This is the fattest I've ever been.

 

But tonight, I am celebrating what I am calling, "My Fattest Night Ever!"

 

I have decided that tomorrow will be the beginning of the new me. The me that will never ever be this fat again. Someone who makes wiser choices and who tries to find little ways to change so it's not overwhelming.

 

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I've been in an emotional slump these past few days. I'm staying really busy and trying to keep my mind on other things, but mostly I just want to move and have my old life back where I live alone, hang out with Marvin, and have fun with my friends. Even if it means working full time or going to graduate school. I just really need that.

 

Stress hits me hard sometimes. It can really affect my health. Not my blood sugars usually, but the joint pain and the emotions and all the other issues that I deal with spiral out of control when I'm stressed. And I'm feeling incredibly stressed this past week.

 

I know that this is a transition period for me. I know that things will work out. But right now, I am just feeling so vulnerable with everything. I haven't found the right job. I'm waiting to hear back about graduate school. I have no idea when I might be able to move. Vulnerability really doesn't sit well with me.

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Last week, a rabbi I follow on Twitter mentioned that she was beginning to work on her sermons for the Jewish High Holy Days. A bit off-the-cuff, I threw out the topic of "G-d forgiveness, versus self-forgiveness, versus forgiving one's fellow man". While the first of these sits squarely within the framework of religion, the other two often sit at the same table as the many theories of diabetes management. Especially where caregivers, and type 2 diabetes, are concerned.

 

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I am not an angry person. Or a sad person. Really.
Most of the time, I'm fairly easy-going. I don't dwell for too long on the things I can't change, I try not to let those niggling things get the best of me. I often try to look on the bright side. I'm certainly not one of those annoyingly positive people you'd like to punch because they're so cheerful, but I'm pleasant. And although I won't be rolled over and you better not screw with someone I care about - or you'll suffer my wrath - I don't go out of my way to pick fights or hurt anyone.
But then sometimes I have a low bloodsugar. And well, then - all bets are off. My easy-going nature often exits the premises of my body and "the beast" emerges. (READ MORE)

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...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.
I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.
It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.
It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)

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