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February 10th, 2012
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I haven't been eating right at all lately. I know what everyone will say because my mother has told me the same things already. I need to focus, I need to keep my eating habits on track, I need to stay healthy. But right now, I don't need to be told this. I need to find a way myself, on my own, to fix this.

 

I'm just not very hungry lately. Or if I'm hungry, I have no appetite. I can go hours upon hours without eating or even thinking of eating. And when my stomach finally growls, I peruse the pantry and come up with nothing. I want nothing.

 

But then there are these times where I just want to eat and eat. I'm not hungry, but pounds of food seem ideal. I want cookies, donuts, Coke, and cake. I just eat and eat, until I just get tired of eating.

 

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One of the things I hate most about diabetes is that I never get a day off. I always have blood sugars to check. I have to count every carb accurately. Or I have to face the consequences. Which is exactly what I did today.

 

After finishing my last final exam for the semester at 8:30am, I decided to celebrate. I bought donuts and kolaches for a little celebration breakfast with a friend. I hadn’t eaten donuts since before starting on the pump (they aren’t something I indulge in all that often), so I wasn’t sure how the day was going to turn out.

 

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Fasting: 75. Not unheard of for me, but since I was 216 before bed, I really expected to be in the 100s.
Although I really want to give Byetta a good test by having cereal for breakfast this morning, I decide to go with a bagel instead. At least that way I can see how the medicine works when I don't go into a meal so high.
I am itching to test my sugar at one hour post, but convince myself to wait for two hours. At the 1 hour and 15 minute mark, a coworker comes in with donuts. "Did you take insulin?" she wants to know, showing the donuts off. I explain about the new medicine and that I want to see how it was working before I go off the deep end. I am proud of my will power.
Two hours post breakfast: 84. Ok, I officially love Byetta. However, I'm anxious to see what happens with lunch. (READ MORE)


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I have been keeping a dirty little secret. I don't know why it feels like a dirty little secret, it's legal in 50 states and not immoral.
I've told everyone I haven't needed insulin since Kate was born. I was up to 30+ units a day of NPH. I haven't taken any NPH since her birthday. I also had an insulin pen of Humulin for the days that I just didn't control myself at lunchtime. Sometimes it was lunch out with the girls, or birthday cake at work, or just unfortunate run-ins with the evil vending machine. But it was important to control my sugars for the baby's sake, so I did what I needed to do. (READ MORE)


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"I have that," the birthday girl's grandmother said to me, pointing at the contents of Charlie's diabetes bag as the cake entered the room.


She wore earrings the size of donuts and called me "sweetie."


"Mmm hmmm! Keep it right on my desk all the time."


"Oh," I said, popping a test strip into the meter and ripping open an alcohol wipe. "You have …"


"Mmm hmmm. I can't afford to get another cold this year," she continued. "Oh, no!"


It was then that I realized she was talking about the massive jug of hand sanitizer that spilled out of Charlie's bag and onto the table and not his diabetes supplies.


Meanwhile I was on the phone with Susanne discussing the dimensions of the cake and signaling the young kids distributing the cake to hold off on the piece for Charlie.

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Scanning the aisles of the grocery store, I was looking for something brownie-ish. As usual, I was assaulted by the donut counter as soon as I walked in the door (location, location, location!). But with no chocolate cake donuts with chocolate icing, it was easy for me to walk past. I quickly perused the bakery area for something tantalizing, and was actually pleased that nothing struck my fancy.
I have learned lately that when I have a craving I have to be very specific with myself or I wind up eating more that I bargained for because I'm not satisfied. So I can't go after something that's "just chocolate." I have to consider texture, temperature and portion size. (READ MORE)


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I'll admit I've never seen Buckaroo Banzai; however, the catch phrase "Wherever you go, there you are" has become as much a part of our popular culture as "Beam me up, Scotty" or "Time to make the donuts!" Yet, with about one in eleven US residents having -- or being at risk for developing -- diabetes, it's no wonder that almost every time we turn around, we meet (or learn about) somebody else "with the D".

 

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Recently, my mom and I were talking about our eating habits. When she was a teacher, she said, there were typically goodies in the teacher's lounge. Every carb-heavy, sugar-filled concoction you could imagine. From donuts to stolens to cookies and cakes. She said if she could just hold out until the kids left for the day, she felt pretty good about making it home without touching anything. If she happened to grab one of those treats first thing in the morning, though, she was extra super diligent for the rest of the day, she said.
"Oh, man! Not me!" I said. The earlier I cheat, the more likely I am to be bad for the rest of the day. She was shocked at my admission. (READ MORE)


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Being 17 at the time of diagnosis gives me some understanding of this years World Diabetes Day theme of "How Diabetes affects children and adolescents.
It was my senior year in High School. I had become Drum Major of the band. It was going to be a fun year but of course, diabetes had another plan.
I look back and remember the disbelief. The confusion that there was no cure. That I was destined to take insulin for the rest of my life. It was too much to handle on top of classes like Government and American Lit. (READ MORE)


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I have never been a morning person. It's always been difficult for me to wake up in the mornings. In fact, I remember in elementary school my mom putting my alarm clock across the room so I'd have to actually get out of bed to turn it off; the theory being that if I was out of bed to turn off the alarm I'd be more likely to actually stay up. Can anyone guess how well that worked?
 

Remember my struggle to push myself to get out of bed at 5:30 to get my exercise and how I had a string of bad luck with alarm clocks? In that life, I lived just four blocks from work. So getting up at 5:30, exercising, showering, eating breakfast, getting the kids to daycare and getting to work around 8:45 a.m. or so was completely possible without rushing.
 

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Nicole Purcell
Nicole PurcellNicole Purcell lists having type 1 diabetes last when she's asked to provide information about herself - because that's where it belongs.

(Read More)
Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
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