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May 26th, 2012
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I know I shouldn't, but I do. I know it should be a time that's full of helpful information, but I don't think it is. I think the only thing I really get out of my endo appointments is knowing my A1C.

 

I always feel like I'm on the defensive. Sometimes I just want to scream HAVE YOU EVER LIVED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE WITH THIS WRETCHED DISEASE? HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED A LOW BLOOD SUGAR? NO? THEN SHUT YOUR FACE.

 

I was particularly feisty this morning for some reason. What do they really expect us to say when they ask "How are your blood sugars doing?" I always say "They vary." Because, really, what diabetics blood sugars *don't* vary? There was only one time period in my life when I could say my sugars were always -- yes always -- in range and that's when I was pregnant with No. 3. I was a model patient.

 

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The theme for this week is "Manage Your Healthcare Team".American Diabetes Month  For me, and for many others with Type 2 diabetes, this is a laugh. Team? What team? I have a primary care physician who handles everything from soup to nuts, including my diabetes care. She'll refer me to specialists and labs as needed, but she doesn't have any direct correspondence with my ophthalmologist (for whose checkup I am long overdue), and I've never had a CDE or an endo.

 

 

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My dad and I have our endo appointments on Wednesday. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be going right now. I already tried to move it back a week, but the doctors were both booked. I'm just not in the right place to see her.

 

For one, my stress level has been high enough with my family member's issues, the job hunt, moving back home, and all the rest of life. I'm just not in the mood to go through the endo process...the guilt, the hate, the annoyance of this disease. I'm doing fine on my own, on a regular basis. But going to the doctor brings everything to the front, it makes it so much more real.

 

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It's my time...to manage myself.

 

I've blogged about my pediatric endo a couple of times on dLife. A Dr. H. who was a total God-send to my health and my family during those rough pediatric years. He was the kind of doctor that reminded you of your dad or grandpa, a fun-loving man who loved his job, his patients, and his life. Everything about him screamed "I want to help YOU!"

 

At 13, 14, 15...well all through my teenage years, I didn't see that though. I saw him as the annoying doctor who kept insisting that I could do this and I just knew that I couldn't and wouldn't. He wasn't walking this disease with me everyday, how could he know??? I'd leave appointments annoyed, tired, and often crying (although the crying lessened with Dr. H. than with any other doctor). He called me the most stubborn patient that he ever had (I believe a previous endo had recorded that in my chart).

 

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When you go to the doctor, do you go prepared with a list of questions for the doctor?  That was one of the questions during last weeks DSMA session on Twitter. 

 

I would say that about 95% of the time, I do go prepared with both a list of questions and a list of the medications that I'm currently taking.  And I do so because I have way too many medications to remember them all, and usually have a number of questions that either April or I want answered.

 

I've been asked a few times, "Why do you take a list of medications? Doesn't your doctor already know which you're taking?"

 

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It's my Spring Break. Nine days of no school. The last one of my college career.

 

Usually this time of year, my mom and I are on a Mexican beach sipping strawberry daiquiris and dreaming of a permanent vacation from everything. That time spent away is necessary for both of us. She needs the break from work to rejuvenate. And I need the break from all this life to avoid a major breakdown.

 

This year, we're spending our vacation time and effort on the European graduation trip though. So my Spring Break is spent here at home. Don't get me wrong. I'm extremely grateful to both my parents for the Europe trip. I'm ecstatic that I'm spending 10 days touring Rome and seeing the islands of the Mediterranean.

 

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When I moved out of my apartment, my plan was to move again sometime in August. I didn't expect to be at my mom's for more than a few months. So I sent some of my things to my dad's while the things I knew that I'd need over the next two or three months went to my mom's.

 

This meant that almost all of my furniture went to my dad's house. Along with most of my boxes including my kitchen supplies, a lot of books, and all my decorations. I sent my toiletries, my most important books, my clothes, and a few other items to my mom's house. Half of them I didn't even unpack.

 

It turned out that some of my boxes wouldn't fit in my car so they were sent to my dad's in hopes to retrieve them later. Unfortunately, later never came.

 

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Since I changed my endocrinilogist last year, I've really been happy with my experiences with Dr. K. She's the kind of doctor that means business but doesn't come off as if she's judging you. She tells you what she thinks, but leaves it up to you what to do. So usually, I'm fairly excited (yes, I said excited) about going to see her. Even when I know I've been doing 85% of things wrong.

 

This appointment didn't feel that way though. I just really didn't want to have to go. I've been making some changes and my averages are down. I didn't want to hear that I'd been doing this and this wrong, even if she does leave off the judgement. I just wasn't willing to expose all those mistakes to the light.

 

And I feel torn between wishing I would have canceled and being excited about the outcome.

 

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One of the issues that crops up with the Mulligan's Stew of insurance benefits that come courtesy of our employers and the States in which we live is the order and manner in which those benefits are applied to the charges incurred by our use of the services covered in those plans. In insurance-company parlance, this is called "Coordination of Care". Back in the days of traditional indemnity plans, medical insurance didn't kick in until after one met an annual deductible, and even then, it was split into two separate policies: normal medical (aka "Blue Cross/Blue Shield") and "Major Medical" (single-incident costs of, in today's money, probably $4000 or more). (READ MORE)


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About a year ago, my PCP's office decided I needed to make separate appointments to have my blood work drawn, a week before my PCP appointments, extorting an extra co-pay so that my doctor and I can have some meaningful interaction (my insurance requires the lab work to be sent out, with about a five- to seven-day turnaround). There's nothing unusual about the blood work -- just the standard glucose panel (with HbA1c), metabolic (liver function) panel, lipid panel (cholesterol), blood count, and urinalysis.

 

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Scott Marvel
Scott MarvelScott lives an active life with type 1 diabetes. Aiming to stay on top of his unexpected diagnosis, he puts a strong foot forward to stay in control.
Living life in the sun and fulfilling his dreams, Scott tries to educate himself, and others, on the unquestionable possibilities of a life with type 1 diabetes.
(Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
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