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I've swallowed my pride and decided to apply for disability services here at school. They can offer me a few resources that I do not have access to otherwise. Most importantly, they give me the ability to register early for class and to notify my professor's that there is a legitimate health issue that I deal with.

The past two semesters, I've considered doing it, but I've also thought it was too embarrassing. But finally, things have gotten to the point where I'm realizing that it's not embarrassing, it's reality. So I've taken the initial steps to go through with it.

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Both of my doctors, my endocrinologist and the doctor in charge of my bio-identical treatment, have sent disability status letters for me. It actually took very little effort, despite the initial feedback from the nurses in the beginning. I'm happy to get these out of the way and go forward with the process. I'll also be writing my own letter to support my case with a personal note.

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It is often difficult to ask for help. Many of us see it as a sign of weakness, or as giving up our independence. In the case of those of us with diabetes, it may mean coming out of the insulin closet for the first time, exposing ourselves for possible loss of job opportunities, medical insurance, or even medical care. One might say that for some of us, getting the medications we need to live right now puts our future income, and our future health, at risk. On the other hand, sometimes that exposure can point the way for others with similar difficulties to find life-saving solutions. In that sense, those of us who go public with our pancreatically-challenged state are sometimes privileged to be the lightbearers for others' lives.

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Sunday night, my throat started hurting pretty badly. I haven't had any type of cold or cough in probably two years. Usually the first signs, I can kick whatever I have with extra vitamin C and this juice that I drink. I did the usual, but it stayed irritated.

So Monday night, I ate some tomato soup and tried to drink as much water and juice as possible. I was 113 and thought I'd covered the food okay. I went for a run, hoping the endorphins would bump up my immune system. After a quick shower, I was 96. I wasn't sure how the food and running might hit me, so I just waited.

But while waiting, I got distracted. So it was an hour and a half later before I checked again. I felt okay, but I wanted to double check. And thank goodness. I was 55. I drank some juice and ate some crackers trying not to over treat. I didn't want to waste my run by consuming more calories.

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My job will be ending sometime this summer. Consequently, I am investigating our health insurance options. Since hubby is self-employed, we have always covered the family under my work policy.

Now, I know that "health care in this country is in crisis"!  I know this is a huge touchpoint for political candidates.  Yes, I know all this intellectually. 

Now it's PERSONAL.  COBRA, offered by my employer by federal mandate, is more than a house note EVERY month.  Private insurance is still pricey - more than what we paid on 2 car notes.  And it carries a $2000 deductible per person.  Some sloppy math later and it could be $15,000 a year before they pay any expenses for us.

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