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May 24th, 2012
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I think Mousie nailed it in her comment from my last post. The age of 6 really is shaping up to be a time of new understanding. And yes, Charlie is clearly dealing with diabetes on a new level.

 

These days he's showing signs of wanting more control. He now loads the test strip into the meter, though he's not ready to test himself yet. He's also started reading labels for total carbs. A tug of war over a bag of crackers usually ensues when I try to make sure he's right about the carbs before I enter it into the pump. He's getting frustrated.

 

Charlie: Can I eat now?

 

Me: (pulling) I just want to check the carbs!

 

Charlie: (pulling) I told you! 16 carbs!

 

Me: (pulling) I. Just. Want. To. See. The.

 

Me: Shit!

 

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The summation of my life lately is in one word. Avoidance. I am avoiding everything that I possibly can at the moment. If it's possible to procrastinate on it, put it on the emotional back burner, or just dodge anything at all, I'm doing it.

 

I just really don't feel like facing everything that is going on in my life right now. Out of fear that it'll overwhelm me. Out of fear that it's worse than I think. Out of the belief that I really just don't need to face anything.

 

In reality, there is a lot that I should take the time to face. In reality, I need to get my behind in gear and start taking charge of my life. It's time to stop dodging what's around me and start facing the facts.

 

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"Go get it!" I said to Susanne, pointing to Charlie’s medical chart that was placed outside the exam room by one of the nurses.

 

Over time we have learned that the chart gets placed in the slot as we are taken to the room and then approximately six minutes later, a nurse returns with a post-it note with Charlie’s A1c written on it, and tucks it into the thick folder.

 

"Go get it!" I nudged her forward.

 

"No. I’m scared," she said with a nervous smile.

 

"Fine, I’ll do it!" I said, marching to the doorway and looking both ways to see if the coast was clear.

 

I snagged the folder, dashed back into the room, opened and then closed it quickly and put it back.

 

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Ah, the first day of school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that school is starting back again, it occurred to me that I hardly mentioned the last school year. I suppose that's a good thing. Couldn't have been all that bad if I didn't blog about it.

 

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Today's DBlog Week Prompt: Living with diabetes (or caring for someone who lives with it) sure does take a lot of work, and it’s easy to be hard on ourselves if we aren’t “perfect”.  But today it’s time to give ourselves some much deserved credit.  Tell us about just one diabetes thing you (or your loved one) does spectacularly!  Fasting blood sugar checks, oral meds sorted and ready, something always on hand to treat a low, or anything that you do for diabetes.  Nothing is too big or too small to celebrate doing well!

 

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I'm a self-proclaimed adventurer. I love to try new things, go to all sorts of places, and I'm always up for a challenge. So college seemed like it'd be one huge adventure in life. But three years ago, I sat down to apply to colleges and had no idea as to what I wanted. Plus there was one major issue looming over me: my health.

 

I've always known that diabetes would keep me a little more cautious than most. But I've never let it stop me. I played sports, I took trips, I even went zip-lining through the jungle last year. Diabetes means that I plan much more than the average person, that I don't just pick up and leave without extreme consideration. I never thought it would hold me back.

 

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People have been asking me lately why I haven't been blogging. My last post was at the end of January. The Mr. and I talked about this the other night and I told him that writing had become a chore. I much prefered to journal in bed just before going to sleep. Much of my journaling had to do with my new diagnosis of bipolar and how I was feeling. It was more cathartic to me than helpful to anyone who may be reading that information as a blog. And there were *a lot* of curse words.

 

But I'd like to credit reader Richard Kern, who recently commented on my last post encouraging me to come out from under my rock to let the community know that I'm OK.

 

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I’ve had a really hard time with my writing/not writing lately. In December I blogged only once, and so far this month I’ve blogged twice.

 

This is kind of weird for me because I’m so used to writing so often. It hurts, actually, that I haven’t been doing more of it. It’s not for lack of trying, though. I’ve written countless Post-It notes to myself with blog topics and have every intention of writing when I get home and then I don’t.

 

And it’s not like I’m forgetting to do it, I just don’t do it. Or I decide that I’d rather do something else. I think about the Post-It note stuck to my calendar and about all the things I would say in the blog and how wonderfully eloquent I would be. And then I just don’t do it.

 

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In keeping an eye on diabetes news and the progress of various studies going on around the world, one thing is clear. There is a fight going on. Everyone is fighting diabetes. The news headlines say so. Here are just a few of our brave soldiers risking their lives in the war against diabetes.
Red Wine Fights Diabetes
Glowing Mice Fight Diabetes
Pumpkins Fight Diabetes (READ MORE)


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Right before I turned off my computer monitor last night I read an article about diabetes and amputations. The article is startling.


One statistic, “Currently 40,000 legs are amputated in India each year” really freaked me out.


Losing my feet is a major fear of mine. It is the reason I quit smoking. It is what kept me up all night last night.


I tossed and turned for hours on end. Every movement made me aware of my feet and how numb they always are. Neuropathy has taken its toll on my feet and it terrifies me.

(READ MORE)


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Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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