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February 10th, 2012
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I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to come fully back to the blog quite yet, but there is something heavy on my heart tonight. Something that I know only you guys can understand so I've decided to break the silence and post it here. We'll see if the coming days prove to hold more words for this site or if I'll recede back into the quiet.

 

As I drove home from work this evening and had my usual phone call with my mom, we got onto the topic of work and money and responsibility. Right now, my situation is that I work part time (24 hours per week) and I planned to attend graduate school for the next two to three years. On that arrangement, my dad generously offered to help pay the rent and supplement my part time income while I finished graduate school.

 

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You may be at risk for diabetes if...

 

Anyone else here bristle when you are presented with these statements?

 

I mean, no $4!†, Sherlock. I have diabetes. I am no longer at risk for the condition, it exists in me.

 

So why does my lab's A1c, if it exceeds 5.8, say "You are at risk for diabetes" rather than "You are within guidelines for someone with diabetes"? Did my diabetes suddenly go away just because I don't need to take pills or shots to control it?

 

Now, I know I'd be really peeved if I didn't have diabetes and a 5.8 A1c read, "You have excellent control of your diabetes" -- but come on, some contextual information, please -- or better yet, placing 5.8 in the "higher than reference normal" category and letting my doctor do the talking.

 

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Thirty-three years ago this semester, the frequent repetition of those words (or others to that effect) by high school classmates led me to take an extra semester of English in the spring term of my senior year. Anyone stepping onto my school bus and smelling the pungent odor of marijuana burning would have easily understood the reasons behind their lack of preparedness to study.

 

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I am almost through my first week of work. Almost. So close. Can't wait. It's been a good week with both highs and lows (literally). But I'm exhausted and in great need of a weekend.

 

Right now, I'm working something between part time and full time. I'm getting up earlier than I have in years. For multiple days in a row. Then I'm working all day, sitting in traffic, and attempting to stay on top of everything else in my life (like this blog, Diabetic Echoes, Marvin, and laundry). I'm pooped.

 

I have no idea where my blood sugars are really. I'm not checking as much as I'd like to mainly because my brain is distracted by volunteer recruitment, interviewing, and placement. When I do check, I'm mostly in range or the number is explainable. I'm still trying to manage the Lantus change as well which has worked great minus getting the right number as to not cause morning lows or afternoon highs.

 

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[This post follows "A Day At the Races (I) — Before the Event", where I discussed some of the work that goes into setting up a fundraising walk, run, or ride.]

 

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I’m the nosiest man in the world. The weather was crappy but the kids wanted to go to the pool anyway. When we got there, the lifeguards were about to close up because no one was there. Then we showed up.

 

A few minutes later, a mother arrived with two blonde-haired twin boys. Maybe 11 or 12 years old. With a storm coming, surely they would jump in the pool and swim for the short time they had.

 

The mother had a brief word with them - something about making sure they were all on the same page.

 

And then each boy went to a different table and buried their heads inside their folded arms.

 

What’s happening? Why aren’t they swimming? Were they in some sort of trouble?

 

Dark clouds approached in the distance. There was not much time.

 

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Phew! Thank goodness it’s over. It was just a really stressful day. It would have been tolerable if Charlie was just hanging out with me at my desk all day, but that’s not how they do it in my office. The kids are all whisked away for a day of activities and my only time with my kids (in theory) would be for lunch.

 

But there was breakfast to deal with, a morning snack, an afternoon snack, late-afternoon ice pops, about five false-alarm lows and one legitimate low of 51. I saw quite a bit of Charlie, did very little work and by the end of the day, I’m sure the volunteers were relieved to see me taking him off their hands.

 

By the fifth phone call from the volunteers, I was starting to wonder if Charlie was simply getting a sick pleasure out of seeing me run repeatedly up the stairs and through the office clutching his puffy rocket ship diabetes bag.

 

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This Saturday will mark my fourth week of boxing training.   I'm pretty pleased with my progress.  I've been running 4-5 days a week for 40 minutes.  I'm getting faster, and stronger with my runs, pushing myself harder and harder.  I also take 3 60-90 minute classes a week, primarily kickboxing classes.  My power is growing by the day,  even though I'm shrinking.  I've lost 8 pounds since January 1st.  But moreover, my muscular definition is changing for the better.  I feel excellent.

 

I've pumped up my eating a bit, going from 1,400 to 1,600 calories a day and consuming more protein. 

 

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Today was my first day at JDRF. I still can't get used to saying that I work for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Talk about dreams coming true.

 

It was a day of paperwork, training, and Gala activities. I'm definitely finding my footing on many levels even though I've volunteered with JDRF for several years and I've lived with this disease for over eighteen. There is a lot to learn and a lot to process.

 

But here I am, decompressing with my patio door open and the TV running in the background. I am about three pages away from being done with a major paper due Monday. I am also considering submitting an application to my alma mater for a Certificate in Non-profit Management. I haven't decided yet and don't want to waste the $50 though.

 

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Most of us who have been around the diabetes community, or any running, cycling, or charity-event community, have had the opportunity to participate in a large event — either as a participant or as a volunteer. Most volunteers come in the day of the event, check in participants or hand out food or beverages for a few hours, and go home. Participants sign up, solicit donations (if it's a charity event), show up, burn some calories, maybe eat some food, and go home. Very few of us get to see how much work, and how many people, it takes to put on an event. If you've ever wondered why the fundraising bar for charity cycling rides is set at $200, $500, $3000, or more... this is why.

 

Let's start at the beginning. Most of the real work of an event starts months before the day of the race, ride, or walk.

 

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Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
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