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November 24th, 2009
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I hope this blog post finds you. I fear it may be intercepted. We are OK. Just scared. They are monitoring all diabetes-related blog activity and tracing all transmissions, so I must be brief.

 

The last 48 hours have been harrowing to say the least. Charlie and I have been on the run since receiving word that the "death panels" are rounding up all diabetics. I hope you are all OK. Safe houses have been set up. Obviously I cannot post locations or our safety will be compromised.

 

I am writing from a small Internet café in Morocco, disguised as a street musician. I have Charlie parked outside in a donkey costume, attached by a leash to a bike rack. They were hot on our trail yesterday in the Andean slopes as teams of Siberian sled-dogs closed in on us in an initiative rumored to run by domestic terrorist Bill Ayers.

 

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A friend of mine died last night, following a battle with lymphoma. The disease came back last summer after he had been in remission about a year. It was discovered about a week after my daughter was born. The prognosis was not good with a recurrence within a year at mid-life. He was only 45 and left two teenage children.
We had fallen out of touch in recent years, but I knew through his sister that he had been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. (READ MORE)


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I received a comment on my post from yesterday that really struck a chord with me. The reader commented that their parents had died from diabetes and that they would die from it too.

 

When I read that I got choked up because honestly, I feel the same way.

 

Sure I plan on fighting the fight and checking my blood as often as I am supposed to. Of course I will continue to work on my A1C and losing weight. I am not giving up on life at all. But, in the back of my mind I “know” that diabetes is going to win in the end.

 

Will it be heart disease, kidney failure, or a stroke? Maybe something else. Who knows?

 

The fact is that with all the steps I take to live healthy the odds are against me. Diabetes has the upper hand which makes me sad and angry at the same time.

 

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There's probably a good reason why iconic film characters don't tend to have diabetes. I was curious to see how diabetes might play out in a classic scene from a classic film.  Stay tuned for more to come. Here's the first installment. It comes from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

 

The scene:

 

After landing on Yavin IV, the Death Star plans are analyzed by the Rebel Alliance and a weakness is discovered that could potentially destroy the deadly space station. Teenage moisture farmer and Jedi-in-training Luke Skywalker, recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, is called upon to destroy the evil Death Star and save the Rebel base from total obliteration.

 

Luke's X-wing speeds down the trench; three TIE fighters, still in perfect unbroken formation, tail close behind.

 

Biggs looks around at the TIE fighters. He is worried.

 

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Am I a man, or even a person- or just a type with an age? Should I be mad at what they think-what kind of war should I wage?
"You can overcome diabetes and make it part of your past" But as an autoimmune, I declare that their thinking should not last!
"Check your blood sugar; you seem to be having a bad day" Must it always be related to diabetes in every way?
"Should you be eating that brownie, too much sugar you know" Should I explain the meaning of bolus and my expertise in insulin flow?
"Why, here, did you go so low- you really deserve this excessive blame" It is just one bad day- not always easy to play this daily game! (READ MORE)


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Information overload is a side effect of being a health writer. I often know too much about too many things. Symptoms start to seep into my subconcious until I convince myself that some minor irritation is a major illness. A simple rash is ringworm, a charlie horse is neuropathy, a side stitch is my appendix bursting.
I'm told medical students often have the same problem. The technical term for it is hypochondria.
Knowing that I'm prone to imagine the worst, I tend to avoid situations that will trigger this little bit of mania. The most important thing I've learned is to never read the sheets from the pharmacy that accompany my prescriptions. If headaches are a side effect of a particular medication, my head will start pounding before the pill has left my tongue. The same goes for gastric distresses, heart palpitations, night sweats, you name it. If I know about it, I will have it. (READ MORE)


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For me, the desire to live to 100 is all about quality of life. Frankly, living to any age is about quality of life.
I don't know that I considered my mortality much until I was diagnosed with diabetes. I was 30 when I was diagnosed. Which means that at the traditional retirement age, I will have lived with diabetes for 35 years. That's a pretty long time. Live 20 years past retirement, and diabetes will have been part of my life for more than half a century.
One of the toughest parts of living with diabetes for me are the intangibles--I feel fine now, but that doesn't mean that my internal organs or my eyes aren't feeling the strain of high blood sugars and extended periods of time living with a chronic disease. (READ MORE)


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It's bad enough to get sick-any kind of sick-but add diabetes into the mix and you can have a real problem on your hands.
I've been sick only a handful of times since I was diagnosed. And when I say sick, I mean the kind of sick that keeps you from eating and leaves you laid up in bed for a couple days. It wasn't long after I was diagnosed that one of the kids got sick and I kept wondering when it would hit me. And then I realized that I literally didn't know what to do with myself if I did get sick. I didn't know what to expect from my blood sugar or how to manage it. (READ MORE)


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It's Wednesday, when the majority of the world is at work. So when the doorbell rings, I'm pretty sure it's a salesperson -- or the kid down the street.

 

This afternoon the doorbell rang. I quietly went downstairs ready to get "mad" at the neighbor kid who has come to the door two Wednesday afternoons lately looking for No. 1 and being genuinely confused about why I'm home and No. 1 is not.

 

I looked through the peep-hole expecting to see the kid. I saw no one, but kept looking thinking that he was so close to the door that I couldn't see him. I saw something on the street, but assumed it was a trashcan. I didn't open the door, walked upstairs and looked out the front window and saw and heard a UPS truck driving away.

 

UPS! I didn't order anything! Does that mean I got a present?! Ooooh a present!!

 

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...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.
I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.
It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.
It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)


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Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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