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Many of us have wondered "Why me?" when confronting this disease. It’s easy to get caught up in pity when you’re diagnosed with a chronic illness. We want a reason for our diabetes. Not a medical cause, but a legitimate human reason. What did we do to bring this on ourselves? Is it some sort of punishment? Is it a test? Is it God’s/god’s/the universe’s doing?

 

The "Why me?" question seems to be a necessary phase in order to fully cope with diabetes. Granted, we may never find a true answer to why this happens to us, but processing the information and coming to terms with it helps us deal.

 

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Sometimes diabetes makes me feel so alone. I've always been the "token" diabetic in my family. And after almost fifteen years of being the only one, I'm adjusted to the idea. I'm good at doing this "alone." I actually like it. I know that no one I love deals with it. I never have anyone to blame. Plus it makes me unique.
In October of last year... that all changed. My dad was diagnosed with type 1. I've never worried about my parents getting it, only my future children. Yet here we are: my father has my disease. It feels horrible, a true blow to the gut. (READ MORE)

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Maybe it's just that it takes different parents of children with diabetes different lengths of time until they finally "back off," as my son's endocrinologist so bluntly urged us to do at last visit.

 

Even after just a year into life as a pancreas, doctors and nurses focused a great deal of concern on Susanne and me. "Hello!" we wanted to say. "Child with diabetes standing in front of you! Can we just focus on him?"

 

"You need to get your sleep," they'd say.

 

"You shouldn't have to get up every night at 2 am," they'd say.

 

"If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of him," they'd say (the fear mongers)

 

"Don't worry about us."

 

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Blogging is difficult for me sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love this website and everyone associated with the Blogabetes community. Each and every one of you continue to be an enormous help. I can come on here and rant and rave to the ENTIRE WORLD about my life with diabetes. I make friends, I laugh, I tear up, and it's all wonderful. It's fantastic and I have no doubt this will continue to be an extremely helpful thing for me and everyone else too. At times though, the only thing I crave is complete and utter privacy, freedom from the world of diabetes and from everything. The last thing on my mind is the desire to share one more personal diabetic experience with the world. (READ MORE)

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The other night I had a breakdown.

 

I needed to wear a nice shirt for work and none of them fit. I threw most of my clothes in the trash and was very upset about how fat I've become.

 

I have a closet full of clothes that I have outgrown. I have gained all the weight I lost and a lot more!

 

This is the fattest I've ever been.

 

But tonight, I am celebrating what I am calling, "My Fattest Night Ever!"

 

I have decided that tomorrow will be the beginning of the new me. The me that will never ever be this fat again. Someone who makes wiser choices and who tries to find little ways to change so it's not overwhelming.

 

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Finish this sentence, I was asked. "My Diabetes..." It is a playoff inspired by an NPR blogger, who was covered by his friend, Ted Koppel, in a documentary that focuses on his "My Cancer" blog. Leroy Sievers was a Peabody Award-winning journalist who detailed his inward thoughts about colon cancer in a personal online journal of sorts, helping himself and others find some comfort and knowledge while living with cancer. He aimed for everyone to learn from one another by finishing one sentence. By scouring his readers' answers, it allowed him to see if he had "missed something", and determine if there was a "lesson the disease was trying to pass on". (READ MORE)

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It's interesting that thankfulness is in the news this month. I've seen mention of several studies and a couple books on the topic. Some religions, 12-step programs and therapies have long advocated gratitude as a means of feeling happier.
Today is the day we as a nation think more openly about the blessings in our life.
This year, the Dotys have Kate's arrival to count high on our list. She has already completed our family in ways I wouldn't have thought of a year ago. (READ MORE)

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I really don’t try to incorporate diabetes into every facet of life. Really, I don’t.

  

It just happens.

  

Take Maeve’s homework assignment last night. Her assignment was to “bridge” or connect the story she was reading to something she could relate to in her own life.

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It's been a little over three weeks since I started tapering off the medications I've been on for the past 18 months. If you're new to my health world, I was on bio-identical hormones for a multitude of health conditions (PCOS, hypothyroidism, adrenal fatigue). Quite a few of my major symptoms disappeared or eased while I was on them (joint pain, mood swings, more regular periods, fatigue, and so on), but a few in particular were only making my life worse. Much worse.

 

My acne (one of the main symptoms I'd originally gone in with) had not only persisted but gotten 100x worse going from moderate to severe. And even though my periods were much more regular, I was still experiencing terrible headaches and cramping several weeks out of the month.

 

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