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If you experience pain as a result of your diabetes, what have you found to be the best way to alleviate it?

May 26th, 2012
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It's been ages since I posted here. My life has been chaotic and, frankly, I haven't had much to write about anywhere online.

 

We had to switch endocrinologists recently because our health insurance won't cover Olivia's doctors at Joslin. Olivia and I both hate it but we can't afford to pay out of pocket to see Dr. R so we've switched to UMass. 

 

Our initial appointment was with an awful doctor who left us waiting for three hours in the exam room and offered no apology when he finally came in. He got all snotty with me when I expressed my annoyance. He kept calling me "mom." Dood, unless you came out of my womb, you don't call me mom, capiche? 

 

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No, not THAT kind of change of life!  I was laid off from my job 10 days ago.  Boy, talk about a life change!  I am doing a little contract work, so I don't know what to call my current position.  "Stay at home Mom" has such negative connotations and I find "Full-time Mother" offensive because I've been a full-time mom since my son was born, regardless of my employment status.  

 

My 4 year old has gone from 9-10 hour days at a daycare center, to 3 hours at a small local preschool.  The rest of the time he's with me.  My 14 month old is with me 24/7, or so it seems.  My husband does step up so I can maintain some other adult relationships. What those will be and how often I'll get a night off remain to be negotiated.

 

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My latest A1c was 7.3. I'm feeling very neutral about it. It's neither high nor low to me. My goal is still 6.5, so the disappointment of being so far off from that is bothering me. But overall, I know that 7.3 is still down from where it was before (7.6) and in a moderately good range for me.

 

I know that getting below 7 is one of the hardest things to do, if not the hardest, so I can't be too hard on myself. It's very frustrating though that it is so hard to get there. Why can't this be a little easier? Or why can't I be a little better at getting things right? I know that I don't do everything right (I'm human!), but I also know that my slip-ups are exactly why my A1c is 7.3.

 

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I'm sorry I've been absent here...

 

Things are changing in my life - again.  In the next 60 days, I'll be moving out of my apartment and into a new place.  This is not bad news, as it's the right thing to do.  But the past several months have been challenging, and the next couple are promising to be tough. 

 

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I have never been a morning person. It's always been difficult for me to wake up in the mornings. In fact, I remember in elementary school my mom putting my alarm clock across the room so I'd have to actually get out of bed to turn it off; the theory being that if I was out of bed to turn off the alarm I'd be more likely to actually stay up. Can anyone guess how well that worked?
 

Remember my struggle to push myself to get out of bed at 5:30 to get my exercise and how I had a string of bad luck with alarm clocks? In that life, I lived just four blocks from work. So getting up at 5:30, exercising, showering, eating breakfast, getting the kids to daycare and getting to work around 8:45 a.m. or so was completely possible without rushing.
 

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When I was in grade school, regardless of whether our Trick-or-Treat costumes were home-made or store-bought, whether we wore masks or make-up, our huge paper loot bags were accompanied by small orange milk cartons stamped with information from UNICEF -- The United Nations Children's Fund. Printed on the cartons were examples of what a small donation might do for a child in a third-world country -- a nickel, for example, might provide a child with a pencil and notebook for school; a dollar might vaccinate him against smallpox or polio; five dollars could get his town clean water. The following school day, our teachers would collect the milk containers. The local PTA would count up the money and submit the school's UNICEF donation for that year.

 

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I remember posters of dull needles from the pediatric endo's office. The difference between a new needle and the old was always quite disgusting. The old was frayed, with shards of metal sticking out abnormally. It was definitely a good way to scare a teenager into changing lancets and syringes on a regular basis.

 

The bad thing was that I never remembered that poster after I left the doctor's office. I'd go back to my usual routine. I wouldn't change the lancet until someone reminded me. I'd use a syringe repeatedly, until the numbers wore down or the needle bent. It could be days before I'd even think about switching it out...after multiple uses per day.

 

It's a bad diabetes habit that I'm in. I try to be better...I put extra lancets and syringes in my meter kit. I try to make schedules, changing them on Sundays or once a night or on the 1st of the month. Anything to make the habit more often than it is.

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Yet another question that I often hear is this: has diabetes shaped you into the person that you are today?

 

Well, considering that I lived the first 24 years of my life without type 2 diabetes or congestive heart failure, or should I say without knowing I had them, I would have to say no. I was well on my way to becoming the person I am today before I was diagnosed with either of those things.

 

Having said that, though, I will admit that being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure has certainly had a huge impact on my life, and has been a driving force behind many changes I've made in the way I live.

 

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A big part of being unemployed and out of school right now is the incredible amounts of free time that I have. I'm not a "free time" kind of girl. I don't like watching TV all day or sleeping endlessly. I get bored just sitting around. I get bored going out to the same stores and not having any money to buy anything. All that free time adds up a lot of calories too which ruins my blood sugars and my waistline.

 

I've been here in my new apartment exactly two weeks. I've put out more resumes and applications. I've started the process to volunteer at a local hospice as well as the local JDRF. I've done a lot of reading as well. But overall, I've done a lot of horrible eating.

 

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I'm in the middle of changing several habits and it's frustrating trying to keep up. Especially when I'm still acclimating to my job and trying to find some peace in a very insane world. I think this past weekend with my mom really helped me sort through some things in my life though which has me feeling like I can do this.

 

One major change that I'm trying to do is to manage my money a little tighter. After taking the new job, my income suddenly got a lot higher. So I started spending higher and that didn't sit well with the saver in me. In efforts to save more for a house and truly assess whether I can afford the extra expense that owning my own home brings, I'm living on cash for the next month or two. I'm cleaning house in the money department, living with as little as possible while still maintaining a lifestyle that I want. So far, it's working fine but I haven't been to Target in a few days (Target being my arch nemesis for saving money).

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Brenda Bell
Brenda BellBrenda was diagnosed with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and Type 2 diabetes in July 2002. After a rocky start, her diabetes has been diet-controlled since January 2004 and she hopes to keep it that way for as long as possible. (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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