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I eat too much.

I know this. I have always had a love for food and an inability to stop when I should. I eat and eat until I feel miserable and then I get more upset for not stopping when I should have!

It's a terrible cycle.

All of this overeating has been the source of my weight gain and the reason my doctor thinks I am someone else. The worst part about it all is the way my clothes are fitting. Or I should say, not fitting.

So recently I started on a journey to lose 40 pounds. So far I am down 5 pounds and am hopeful for a healthy chunk gone this week.

My strategy right now is just tackling portion size and the amount of food I consume.

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Today I started responding to a question left in a comment. 

 

In the end, I decided this subject deserved its own post.

 

I have lost somewhere between 40 and 50 pounds over the past year and half.  It depends on the day and the time of day and whether I've worked out - etc, etc...

 

Anyway, it's been a long, strange trip losing the weight.  And the way I did it is pretty simple.

 

I stopped trying fad diets and started doing things the one way that I think really works.  I made very basic, but important changes to my lifestyle.  

 

I count calories and I burn calories.  It's that simple.  I used a calculator I found online to figure out how many calories I should be eating if I wanted to lose weight. 

 

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My endo last week told me that weight gain was just a simple matter of calories in and calories out. I brought in my concern that I'd gained about eight pounds in the last three months without changing diet or exercise excessively. I worked really hard to lose weight last year, I don't want to start seeing the scale creep up and feel out of control.

 

But apparently, it's just a simple matter of calories in and calories out.

 

I just don't believe her. I know she has a point. That yes, weight gain often happens when you are consuming more than you are expending. But that isn't the entire picture...especially for insulin dependent diabetics.

 

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Last Friday, I'd spent the day studying physics and packing my apartment. There was a lot on my mind...boys, school, the future, and my body. I'd been dealing with mega water retention that entire week. And I was so disgusted with my body.

 

I hadn't run in a week, so I decided to hop on the treadmill for a mile or two. To drench myself in sweat and forget there was a world outside the treadmill bubble. I ran, hard, thinking of graduate schools and the park trails of northern Texas. It was the kind of run where my mind leaves and my muscles take over.

 

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I am sitting at the dining room table. Two pieces of cake sit in front of me, in the glass cake holder my mother bought for me. They look amazing, those slabs of cake, with their white frosting and their devil's food cake-i-ness poking through. I stab at the grilled chicken salad with peppers and onions and slivers of carrots on my plate. The salad, which just a few moments earlier had looked so delicious. Now it just seemed pale and loose and green in the shadow of the cake. In the shadow of the devil.
I say, out loud, "Well, just one piece can't be too bad. I mean, I have just had this salad for dinner. And I've barely touched it." (READ MORE)

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I'm a bit behind over here so I'm wishing all of you a late Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and all the best for 2012. This holiday season I was fighting an upper respiratory infection that completely side swiped me. I was voiceless for almost 6 days, had constant coughing for three or four, and still have a lingering cough at certain points.

 

For the past week and a half, I've slept as much as possible. By that, I mean constantly. I was sleeping 12 hours at night, napping through most of the day, and just making it out of the house in the evening to see Marvin and some friends that were in town. I'm back to work tomorrow and sincerely hoping that I haven't ruined my sleep patterns (which are completely off thanks to this craziness).

 

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I love to cook. In the spring and summer, I like to try out different salads. In the fall and winter months, my kitchen is brimming with bubbling pots of soups and stews. So today, with a dusting of snow on the ground and football on the TV, it seemed like the perfect day to make chili.
Ever since I was diagnosed with diabetes--and especially now that I'm that I'm trying to lose weight--healthy cooking has become a priority. I've learned a few tricks for keeping full on the fewest calories and carbs, like drinking lots of water, substituting a relaxing cup tea for dessert and filling up on lots of veggies. (READ MORE)

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"So can you eat whatever you want?," a coworker recently asked. She wasn't being rude or telling me not to eat cake; she was curious about type 1 and how I managed. But the question knocked me off balance for a moment.

 

Most people don't want to know what I can or can't eat. They automatically assume that I can't eat sweets or bread or Mexican food or whatever stereotype they've heard. They put the rumors and myths on my own diet and never even stop to ask.

 

Since I don't normally have a chance to even answer this question, I guess I don't normally think about what I "can" and "can't" eat. Technically, I CAN eat whatever I want at any time because I'm on a sliding scale with Humalog. One of the "perks" of type 1, if you will.

 

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The last few weeks have been a major struggle with my weight. The week before finals (first week of December), I noticed that my weight was slowly climbing. Not much, but enough to make me worry. Two weeks later (bringing us to this weekend), I've gained two pounds.

 

I know two pounds isn't that much, but this time I feel like it's twenty pounds. I'm noticing it in my face, in my legs, in my hands. No one else seems to notice, so I'm sure this is just my self-image taking a nasty turn. But no matter what, I'm still bothered by it.

 

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I'm always looking for easy, fairly fun ways to control my diet. I usually just keep a running track in my mind of what I've eaten in the past few days. Sometimes this helps me say no to the cookies or the extra servings of something yummy. Other times, it just makes me feel guilty that I can eat so poorly and not seem to care.

 

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