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I really don't like going to the doctor. The endocrinologist to be specific. Every time I go, I just seem to leave disappointed. Sometimes it's less disappointment than others. Sometimes I'm just so angry at myself and at this disease. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I get mad at the doctor (because OF COURSE, it's HIS fault I'm diabetic!). But mostly, the doctor just makes me feel alone in what I feel.

Today I had an endo appointment (if you didn't already guess). My last A1c was 6.9, my lowest ever. I was absolutely thrilled at that number, yet the perfectionist in me still wanted lower. And I honestly tried for lower (less in the last month or so though). But life got in the way.

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I've said it before and I know others have too: it's awfully strange, considering my profession, that I don't read books. I've never been a book reader. Ever. I struggled through classes in high school and college that required reading novels.

I know, right? And yes I still want to write the Great American Novel. But that's different. Part of the reason I don't read more is that I'm easily distracted. I can sit down and read a chapter or two of a book, put it down and think that I'll be able to get back to it the next day. But then it's a week before I pick the book up again and I've forgotten what I've read.

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Because I've gotten so off track in the last month or two, I've decided to take measures towards better control. I'm sick of watching my numbers climb higher than Everest and struggle to make the plunge back down. My 30 day average is 156, but my 15 day average is 176. So obviously I've lost my control.

This month has been hard physically. I've put my work out plan to good use, hitting the gym at least two times a week and walking the neighborhood at least two times as well. I also started the diet. Then summer school started.

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For Christmas, Marvin gave me a tablet pc that does everything a regular computer does and more. I quickly downloaded the Kindle app and turned my tablet pc into a handheld library. I've finished several books on it already and love the thing. It's easy to read on and great to carry multiple books without the weight.

I searched through the free e-books on Amazon and downloaded some classics. Then I hit upon one that looked kind of cute. "Always the Baker, Never the Bride" by Sandra D. Bricker. The description gave the general premise of the book. A baker who goes to work at a new hotel that focuses on one-stop wedding shops. She meets a man and drama ensues. The kicker was that she was diabetic.

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This post started as Ten Things I Want Right Now.  Overnight, it grew an additional thing I find myself wanting!  It's honestly just me reverting to a list because work is incredibly busy right now and I don't have the time (or really, the energy) to write a real-live post tonight. 

So... Eleven Things.

1)    Superpower.  Specifically, the power to mend.  I think even considering superpowers is dangerous, because most people don’t think about the consequences and tough decisions that come along with them (ie: what things should just NOT be mended?).  But yeah, the power to mend would be just about perfect right now. 

2)    A cupcake.  I would really love a white cupcake with white frosting right now.  But what seem to be gluten issues make that rather impossible. 

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Thanks for the input on my issues with Olivia's teacher. I'm going to follow up with her when they return to school this week, to see if the guy is still being a pain in the butt about it and if so, I'll contact him again. This is the part of diabetes that I hate - the beating it into people part.

For the last couple of weeks, Olivia's been having some major drama with her father. He doesn't see her, in spite of only living an hour away, and it's making her nuts. He'll call her, but he has one excuse after another as to why he can't come out here or why, if we happen to be out that way, she can't stop in for a few hours. It's really crappy.

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When I moved out of my apartment, my plan was to move again sometime in August. I didn't expect to be at my mom's for more than a few months. So I sent some of my things to my dad's while the things I knew that I'd need over the next two or three months went to my mom's.

This meant that almost all of my furniture went to my dad's house. Along with most of my boxes including my kitchen supplies, a lot of books, and all my decorations. I sent my toiletries, my most important books, my clothes, and a few other items to my mom's house. Half of them I didn't even unpack.

It turned out that some of my boxes wouldn't fit in my car so they were sent to my dad's in hopes to retrieve them later. Unfortunately, later never came.

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