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People with diabetes, and those touched by diabetes, follow their journey with the disease through a myriad of winding emotional paths. Depression is very common for those newly diagnosed, sadness can rear its head at different stages in the game, and a little humor and humility can even find the door to expose itself from time to time. The keys for controlling those doors are littered all over the place and on  Wrld Diabetes Day today, you can follow this map of internet hotspots. Expose diabetes for all that it is, good and bad, and then share it with others. Find an emotion and embrace it!

 

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By the end of the day I was almost regretting that I had been drinking so much water throughout the day. I was in the bathroom about every 20 minutes or so.
It started yesterday when I got a twinge and a sort of seize when I used the bathroom. It was different from the feeling I had gotten (or seemed to remember) when I had a urinary tract infection in the past. But I knew something was still definitely wrong. Especially when I got up at 4 a.m. last night to go potty, and then again 20 minutes later, and still getting this seizing twinge of a pain in my very low abdomen.
I decided I'd load up on water today and even--gulp--drink some cranberry juice even though I really can't stand cranberry juice (I found some cran-grape at the gas station, which may not have the same effect as cranberry, but it was all I was willing to tolerate, especially since it wasn't sugar free). (READ MORE)

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Diabetes has made me a hypochondriac. Every ache, every pain, every change is some condition, disease or syndrome. Now typically I don't truly believe I have any of the things I so often "self-diagnose," but I have to admit that I am constantly living in the shadow of my diabetes. (READ MORE)

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It's back. And this time I'm definitely blaming the blood/bacteria in my urine on my refillable water bottle. Remember several months ago when I had two horrible infections in the course of two months? Remember that I searched online in vain to blame the problem on my Nalgene bottle, but to no avail? Well, I ditched the Nalgene bottle and the problem went away. Except that when you live in the desert you have to drink water. Lots of water. So I bought another refillable water bottle and drank gallons of water a day. Well, not really, but you get the picture. And what happens? Three months later I'm in agony again.

 

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About this time last year I had a scare with Boo, Olivia's little sister.  She had been peeing and drinking a lot and had a blood sugar of 140 at one point. I took her to the pediatrician, but he didn't seem concerned.  I logged her numbers for a week and there was never another high reading, so I left it alone.

 

Well, this week, Boo has been asking to go to the bathroom a lot.  She's also thirsty a lot.  Her preschool teacher mentioned the constant peeing to me and said "Maybe she's getting sick.  Her breath smells a little funny."  

 

Uh oh. 

 

So I did a blood sugar reading this morning (after much crying and hiding on Boo's part) and she was 160.  I called the pediatrician and she's going in at 4:30 today.  I'm going to ask if there's another test - I don't want this dismissed.  

 

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I've had off and on bladder pain for several years now. The endometriosis surgery that I had in November was supposed to have fixed it, but I'm not so sure it did. Sunday, I developed vice-like bladder pain that would not go away with ibuprofen. I started drinking tons of water then headed to the doctor on Monday.

 

The doctor said that my white blood count in my urine was slightly elevated, but nothing else showed signs of an infection or kidney problem. I was prescribed 10 days of antibiotics just in case, which I started immediately.

 

My bladder pain had gone away on Monday. But by Tuesday night (two whole days into the antibiotics and lots of cranberry later), my bladder pain had turned into kidney and side discomfort. Just a general malaise. I wasn't feeling up to myself, just out of sorts.

 

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It's not unusual for me to be woken in the wee hours of the morning. Typical offenders include No. 1, No. 2, No. 3 and The Mr.'s snoring. Despite the amount of water I *think* I drink, it's surprisingly not to visit the facilities.
But Sunday morning, some time before 5 a.m. I awoke. Confused, not feeling right and uncomfortable. Something propelled me to go potty. Oh, the pain was terrible! I had the same symptoms of blood in my urine (which pretty much mimics a urinary tract infection) that I had at the end of February. This was miserable.
Still uncomfortable, I tried to go back to sleep, but the stinging wouldn't let up. And, well, The Mr. was snoring. I maneuvered around the creeky boards in our 100-year-old home to the living room couch, where I honestly thought I'd be able to fall asleep. But I found myself in the bathroom literally every two minutes squeezing out teeny drops of relief. (READ MORE)

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My averages had been looking much better the last few weeks with the mix of keeping a stable schedule and eating a little better. I was having my usual bouts of lows (in the 50's) with the lower averages, but I was also working to correct those issues. So this week, I'm sad to report that my averages have soared back up with the onset of school.

 

The first week of school (or any time I get sincerely busy), I tend to let my diabetes slip. I check my blood sugar less often and at the most unusual times. I don't stay on top of my insulin, as in I let my Lantus doses fall outside the typical 12 hour range or delay my boluses. On top of all that, I tend to eat off schedule (since I'm still adjusting to the change in daily routine) and never decent meals.

 

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Right now, there is a lot running through my mind. And a lot going on inside my body. I feel the need to make lists, a comforting task that usually calms me in the strangest way. I also feel the need to go for a run, sleep forever, and chat with some good friends over hot chocolate. Which of those will win out? The lists, for sure. Maybe a run. Then some sleep.

 

There is surely more to my life than my health, right? This week I'm in need of constant reminders that this is the truth and that my life is NOT ruled by diabetes, PCOS, or whatever else is currently going on inside me. Despite the fact that Marvin* is running through my mind by some strange occurrences and that butterflies rise up in my stomach whenever I think that Monday I start submitting resumes to professional jobs, most of this week has been focused on my health or my ill health. Whichever way the glass fills.

 

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There are times in my health world that it seems everything goes wrong all at once. Every symptom or side effect possible decides to rear their ugly and intrusive heads all at once. Stress tends to make it all worse, throwing my blood sugars, my sleeping habits, and my hormones out of an already teetering balance.

 

These past ten days or so have been an onslaugt of Dr. Murphy's Law (I say Dr. because it's strictly health related). The Accutane is giving me off and on side effects like back pain, insomnia, crazy dreams, fatigue, itchy skin, headaches, and so on. My blood sugars are trending low with the increase in stress and exercise. And the rest of my body seems to be following suit in the craziness.

 

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