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We found 10 result(s) that match your search "bitter_sweet":

I saw him from across the room.  And edged closer. 

 

Tall, white-haired, horn-rimmed glasses, a blue and white seersucker suit.   Yes, seersucker.  What can I say?  It was a summer event on the water for the theater where I work - seersucker is always "in" amongst theater folks.  But none of that caught my eye as much as the clear Medtronic Pump clipped to his grosgrain belt.  I had to get closer.  The pump, like a magnet, drew me. 

 

"I noticed you're wearing an insulin pump," I said brightly,  "I wear one too!"  Popping my hip so that the outline of my pump showed a bit through the fabric of my dress. 

 

"Oh, I'll just move out of the way - you guys are like a club."  Said his wife "And don't forget to show her that other thing you have, Stan." 

 

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Ugh.

 

That is the perfect one word description of my diabetes management these days.  I am off the rails.  I am not on track.  I am completely (or so it seems) - out of control.  I see highs, I see lows, I see some in-range sugars - but mostly - not. 

 

Today, for example.  68 mg/dl this morning.  No breakfast, because I was too busy, just some Fuse Banana Colada juice.  119 mg/dl at around noon time.  Salad.  No test until 4pm.  4pm.  And I've tested two times today.  Then I'm 200 mg/dl...  So what do I do?  I have a carb heavy dinner and some ice cream.  I am 236 mg/dl at 6:30 pm.  I am 175 mg/dl now.  Terrible.  Terrible.  Terrible.  And not rare these days.

 

I haven't been to the gym at all this week.  Work activities.  Home searches...  Other stuff that's - distracting. 

 

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I want to be the Little Mermaid. I want my ocean life to turn to land. I want to suddenly be able to cross to the other side. I want a day without diabetes. Just one day.
If I could imagine a day without diabetes... it would be hard to know where to start. Maybe I'd go jogging and not worry about getting low hours later. Maybe I would make my day on a holiday so I could eat anything I wanted without thinking about boluses and temp basals.
Certainly I would rejoice in not being glued to an insulin pump and infusion set. I would get rid of the calluses on my fingers from the eight finger sticks a day. I wouldn't worry about heightened risks for heart disease, glaucoma, or even the common cold. (READ MORE)

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This is just a Happy Thanksgiving post. It'll be a little schmoopy, so if you're not into that kind of mush, carry on!
The holidays are a bittersweet time for my family; and for Bob's family. Over the past ten years, between the two families, we have lost seven grandparents, several aunts and uncles, and one young cousin. All between October and January. The holidays bring joy, but they also bring memories that can sometimes put a damper on things. This year, Bob and I had decided to make our own tradition. We had planned to get chinese food and some movies and stay at home. When Bob called his mother to ask one last time if she'd like for us to come there, and she said no she wasn't much in the holiday mood and woudn't be cooking, he shared our plan. The next day, his mom called back and said that she loved the idea of a new tradition and that she would be making homemade chinese food if we'd like to come. And, you know what? We CAN'T WAIT! (READ MORE)

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I took Olivia to camp today. It's always a little bittersweet for me to take her there. I miss having her at home, I miss seeing her around the house, I even miss (god help me!) her incessant playing of Hannah Montana CDs.
I remember the first year she went to camp. I was terrified. She was eight years old and had never been away overnight, except to stay with family members. I knew that Clara Barton would be a safe place for her but there was a part of me that wanted to cling to her, to hold her close, thinking that no one, no one was going to take care of her the way I could.
That first year she only did mini-camp. She stayed from Sunday until Thursday. When I went to pick her up, she bubbled over with stories of what they'd done, telling me about this girl and that girl, talking enthusiastically about their activities and games. It was wonderful to see her that enthusiastic. (READ MORE)

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I've been anxiously awaiting today for several weeks now. It's the mix of fear and excitement that can't be explained. Because today I met with my new endo and my old CDE (from the pediatric days). And today, I'm completely bittersweet about this disease.

 

The endo was quite amazing. She's fairly young, seems knowledgeable, but most importantly we seemed to be pretty much on the same page with this whole thing. Not only was she in the room before the nurse finished the finger prick, blood pressure, and weight checks, but she spent over an hour with me personally. I'm in awe, the drop your jaw on the floor kind of awe mixed with the standing ovation type of awe.

 

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This post was supposed to go up during American Diabetes Month - like, two days ago.

 

But it's worth posting, even a little late.

 

"No (wo)man is an island..."

 

Ain't that the truth?

 

Every time I read a post about a scary low, or a child running from a parent with a needle or a pump set.  Every time I read a post about being exhausted by the stress of the constant battle that is diabetes, or a morning shower had in tears because it's just been "one of those nights." 

 

Every time I cry or laugh with someone who lives on the other side of the country, or the other side of the world. 

 

Every single time.  My heart swells. 

 

Just knowing that any time of day, I can pour my heart out and someone will be there to catch it.  To understand.

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I didn't tell The Mr. that I had an appointment yesterday. Not sure why but I wanted to keep it to myself until after. Which could have been part of the reason I cried when I called him to tell him I had the appointment.

 

We were going to talk more about it last night, but school work and meetings got in the way. It wasn't until mid-day today that we actually got to chat about it.

 

I told him that M had basically pinned down the root of my issue to childhood when I had a tough experience with my biological father and his new family. We talked about how my weight gain may have started when I turned to food as a coping mechanism.

 

"But you weren't a heavy kid," he said.

 

"Yeah I was. The first time I tried to lose weight was in sixth grade," I reminded him. "I was always the biggest kid in the class."

 

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Today let's tackle an idea inspired by Bennet of Your Diabetes May Vary.  Tell us what your Fantasy Diabetes Device would be?  Think of your dream blood glucose checker, delivery system for insulin or other meds, magic carb counter, etc. etc. etc.  The sky is the limit - what would you love to see?

 

 

Thank you to Karen over at Bitter-Sweet Diabetes for the D-Blog Week prompt.

 

 

I'd like parental control software that will filter out the geezer on TV in the sweater who keeps saying, "if you have diabetes ... "

 

 

YES!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YES!!!!!!!!!! FOR THE MILLIONTH FREAKING TIME, YES!!!!!! CHARLIE HAS DIABETES!!!!!!!

 

 

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