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"Did it hurt real bad?"
"It burned," Charlie said. "It felt like I was on fire."
"Do you think mommy and daddy want to hurt you?"
Charlie nods in the affirmative.
"That would be really mean; like really evil. Do you think mommy and daddy are evil?"
He nods up and down again, dipping his waffle in a small bowl of sugar-free syrup.
The slight smirk tells me he doesn't truly believe that, but it sucks to hear that from your child nonetheless.
That was this morning. Last night we took Charlie to hell and back with two site changes. The first site change was so absolutely horrendous that we just HAD to do it again, the monsters that we are. (READ MORE)

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"Did it hurt real bad?"
"It burned," Charlie said. "It felt like I was on fire."
"Do you think mommy and daddy want to hurt you?"
Charlie nods in the affirmative.
"That would be really mean; like really evil. Do you think mommy and daddy are evil?"
He nods up and down again, dipping his waffle in a small bowl of sugar-free syrup.
The slight smirk tells me he doesn't truly believe that, but it sucks to hear that from your child nonetheless.
That was this morning. Last night we took Charlie to hell and back with two site changes. The first site change was so absolutely horrendous that we just HAD to do it again, the monsters that we are. (READ MORE)

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"Did it hurt real bad?"
"It burned," Charlie said. "It felt like I was on fire."
"Do you think mommy and daddy want to hurt you?"
Charlie nods in the affirmative.
"That would be really mean; like really evil. Do you think mommy and daddy are evil?"
He nods up and down again, dipping his waffle in a small bowl of sugar-free syrup.
The slight smirk tells me he doesn't truly believe that, but it sucks to hear that from your child nonetheless.
That was this morning. Last night we took Charlie to hell and back with two site changes. The first site change was so absolutely horrendous that we just HAD to do it again, the monsters that we are. (READ MORE)

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For 4 weeks I have avoided the world. I stopped blogging. Stopped logging. Stopped counting points. Just stopped.

 

What good did it do me? Lots actually when I look back. I realized that support and friends are an important part of my life and my diabetes management. I use the support and advice from my friends almost daily. When I read comments on blog posts I always find support and help from so many. It truly keeps me in line.

 

The other side of it is that I found that worrying does no good at all. I have spent this last month worrying about money which did absolutely no good. The only good that came about was that realization. Worry is a waste of time.

 

What is annoying is that I know this. I know that worry is nothing more then a stress creator and with that, a glucose "inflator." I need not add to the stress of my life worrying all the time.

 

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Thanks to En Vogue for those lyrics. We got back from vacation late Friday night but I'm still feeling my way back to my "new normal".

 

10 days in New Mexico in a travel trailer with kids (ages 4 & 1) - it went really well!  Yes, that's shock you see in my punctuation!  We went places and saw people and ran, ran, ran.  The weather was beautiful, highs hovering around 80.  They have gotten a lot of rain and some Dolly-effect flooding this summer, so it was quite lush by New Mexico standards.

 

Unfortunately, I didn't replace my workouts as I had hoped I would.  Read that as "hoped, but didn't make definite plans for ahead of time." I need to remember that for the future.  On the plus side, I was much more active than usual.

 

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It has been three years, seven months, and fourteen days since I was first sitting on that powder keg in the emergency room. I sat with my parents as my blood sugar was checked for the first time and the diagnosis was made. As plain as day, the doctor said the string of words I had never known before that time, type-1 diabetes. (READ MORE)

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On Thursday, Olivia asked me if she could spend Friday night at a friend's house. I said yes, but told her that she had to call home at some point on Friday evening and call again on Saturday morning to let us know when she wanted to be picked up.

I didn't get any phone call until noon on Saturday. I had gone out Friday night, but my husband was home with the two little ones. Normally, I would just get on her case a little bit about it and leave it alone. That was before I checked her meter and pump today.

She didn't check her blood sugar after 5 p.m. on Friday night and only checked THREE times on Saturday. Three. We typically check between 8 and 12 times a day, every day, depending on what's going on. I very nearly blew a gasket over that one.
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On Thursday, Olivia asked me if she could spend Friday night at a friend's house. I said yes, but told her that she had to call home at some point on Friday evening and call again on Saturday morning to let us know when she wanted to be picked up.

I didn't get any phone call until noon on Saturday. I had gone out Friday night, but my husband was home with the two little ones. Normally, I would just get on her case a little bit about it and leave it alone. That was before I checked her meter and pump today.

She didn't check her blood sugar after 5 p.m. on Friday night and only checked THREE times on Saturday. Three. We typically check between 8 and 12 times a day, every day, depending on what's going on. I very nearly blew a gasket over that one.
(READ MORE)

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It's been a while since I last updated and I apologize for that. Sometimes life just takes over.
A lot has happened in the last few weeks. When I last checked in, my blood sugar was crazy high, my vision was suffering the consequences and my endo was terribly unresponsive. Since then, I changed doctors, went back on the meds I took prior to getting pregnant, got my blood sugar back under control and can read the clock on the DVR again. I feel so much better.
I still haven't officially told my endo that I don't want to see him any more. I plan on writing him a Dear John letter soon. The final straw was that I contacted him regarding my vision problems and my shakey control and he told me to take metformin again. I asked to go back on the meds I took before seeing him and he ignored me. I felt that I had humored him long enough. (READ MORE)

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I should have known my blood sugar was high. The Hunger was back. Not the it's-been-hours-since-my-last-meal hunger. Or even the low-blood-sugar hunger. But that insatiable Hunger. The eat-everything-you-can-get-your-hands-on-but-still-be-hungry Hunger.
I hadn't felt the Hunger in years. Not since 2003, when I was first diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Once I got my blood sugar under control, that insatiable Hunger was gone. Now it was back, with a vengeance.
At first, I chalked it up to breastfeeding. After all, breastfeeding is rumored to burn about 1,000 calories a day. (In me, it's probably closer to 200 calories a day, if that.) Then I thought it was from stress or fatigue, after all, new moms really don't get a lot of sleep.
Then, when I started taking my blood sugar again, I recognized it for what it truly was. The Hunger. That beast I thought I'd caged years ago. It had gotten lose. (READ MORE)

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