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It's been a little over three weeks since I started tapering off the medications I've been on for the past 18 months. If you're new to my health world, I was on bio-identical hormones for a multitude of health conditions (PCOS, hypothyroidism, adrenal fatigue). Quite a few of my major symptoms disappeared or eased while I was on them (joint pain, mood swings, more regular periods, fatigue, and so on), but a few in particular were only making my life worse. Much worse.

 

My acne (one of the main symptoms I'd originally gone in with) had not only persisted but gotten 100x worse going from moderate to severe. And even though my periods were much more regular, I was still experiencing terrible headaches and cramping several weeks out of the month.

 

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It's my time...to prioritize in my own way.

You may have noticed that diabetes hasn't been my first priority here lately. Not only is school speeding by faster than I can possibly keep up, my other health conditions are facing a lot of changes. Changes that I'm so ready for, but also not prepared for at the moment.

 

First, I'm starting birth control today after going off the progesterone almost two months ago. I'm hoping that the birth control will help with the premenstrual symptoms that I experience (like cramping, joint pain, headaches, and fatigue), without leaving lasting side effects (like weight gain, stroke, or pulmonary embolism). It took a lot to make the decision to go on it again, but I've made the decision and now I'm excited to see the results.

 

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There's a lot on my mind lately. Some good, some bad, some neutral. Mostly, it's confusion and decisions. And mostly, it has to do with my health...of course.

 

I started a new prescription called Spironolactone (or Aldactone) on September 1 to help with the side effects of my PCOS. It's supposed to take about three months to truly see results, but I feel like I'm already seeing some effects. My skin, although still breaking out, is not nearly as bad as it was a few weeks ago. Granted, I'm using tea tree oil and Mederma religiously. So I can't really say if the "Spiro" is helping for sure, but it obviously isn't hurting in that area.

 

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A co-worker of mine recently told me about her morbidly obese future sister-in-law, who has "diabetes real bad."
"It doesn't exactly work that way," I told her, smirking like a diabetes snob. I went into the difference between type 1 and type 2 and told her that one doesn't get a bad case of diabetes. It's not like acne. So young, I thought. So naïve, I thought. So wrong. (READ MORE)

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This morning, I went for a second opinion on my current reproductive status. Back in late August, my Well Woman Exam turned into a possible endometriosis diagnosis. So I decided to go for another opinion before pursuing further treatment options.

 

And I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by the doctor. New doctors are always interesting, especially those related to gynecology. But this doctor reinforced the idea that doctors can actually be helpful, understanding, and interested in what you actually feel or need.

 

So his opinion was that endometriosis is the likely choice as to the causes of some of my reproductive issues. Since I've tried most of the obvious treatment choices (NSAIDs, birth control pills, and pain management), the next step for a woman my age is surgery.

 

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I've been extremely frustrated with my health lately. I'm usually at a heightened sense of frustration, but the past few weeks have hit me hard. To the point that I'm feeling hopeless, desperate, and just plain lost in the sea of chronic conditions.

 

My diabetes isn't the main issue, even though it's always a source of stress in my life. Mostly, I feel like I'm just going along with my diabetes at the moment until my doctor's appointment later in the summer. I'm keeping up with my insulin, eating normally, exercising, and all that...just not focusing on making changes. I feel like I don't know where to make the next change, so I just want a break to absorb what I have right now (which are averages in the 150's).

 

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What a weekend. What a month really. The past few weeks have been non-stop forward movement for me. Every weekend, I'm heading home for doctor's appointments or JDRF Walks or just "family" time. And all through the week, I'm running between classes, errands, friends, and daily happenings. My to do list is insanely long, filled with essays, exams, oil changes, grocery shopping, and cleaning.

 

Thankfully, my numbers seem to be settling down. I increased the Lantus dose by one unit back on Wednesday. And it worked until about Friday when I started seeing an endless amount of lows. I was stuck in the 60's, no matter what. So today I've lowered it back down to my usual dosage...hoping that I can get higher numbers, but not too high.

 

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Today I had a breakdown. Not the sobbing, woe is me kind. But the kick it to the curb, throw it out the window kind. I'm ready to kick my health to the curb...once and for awhile to get everything straightened out and stop stressing over hormones and supplements and money. So here's what I decided to do:

 

Since starting the bio-identical hormone treatment, I've seen great improvement in several areas. My fatigue is generally improved (unless I'm under high stress). My periods are less irregular. My joint and muscle pain is usually completely gone (had a few bumps while they moved things around). And a lot of the odds and ends of pain that struck my body at random moments vanished. Plus we all know that after starting these treatments I lost weight that wouldn't budge before then.

 

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My life is on a peg. It's hanging, waiting to be pulled off and move forward. But it's not there yet. I'm not there yet. I'm waiting, so impatient and so anxious for the future, so annoyed by the past...I'm waiting to move forward and be myself, to stop hanging on this peg.

 

The past three years have been an incredible roller coaster of a journey in regards to my health. I've made so many changes, tried so many things. And at what cost?

 

Right now, I'm extremely impatient with the future of my skin and the future of pain. I have some major decisions to make in the next couple of months...decisions that I wish I could have made months ago. I'm waiting on the endometriosis diagnosis/surgery. And I'm waiting to decide on Accutane/birth control pills...extremely impatient about this one.

 

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Weaning off then completely stopping the progesterone has been interesting. I've definitely felt my old symptoms come back, like I mentioned last week. A drop in mood, fatigue, and some of the joint pain are the main issues. But there have also been positive changes.

 

Like the level of pre-period pelvic pain didn't start the usual two weeks out. Of course, my period could be another two weeks away since they are incredibly irregular. But so far, I've only had maybe 2 days of pelvic pain as opposed to a usual 5-10 days. If I could limit it without progesterone, the endometriosis surgery might completely clear whatever else is causing the pain. We'll have to wait to see about that one though.

 

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