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May 25th, 2012
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In the beginning, there is orange and black foil.  That foil is joined by yellow and red, with the black fading away.  In what seems like an instant, the yellow and orange are things of the past and the red takes hold alongside glittering green and silver.  All of these beautifully colored foils, they signify the enemy.   They are the harbingers of what is, quite possibly, the most difficult time of year for me; the dreaded days between Halloween and Christmas. 

 

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I have had some major hurdles in my life and recently have been jumping over them one by one. Not with ease or speed but with planning, determination, and most of all accountability.
The hurdle I have now is weight loss. I have been fat all of my life (except right before I was diagnosed) and now it is time to shed those pounds. I joined weight watchers a while ago which I know I have mentioned here but I was just recently away for three weeks due to three things. One weigh in I skipped because I was just tired and slept in, another when I was sick, and the last was when we went out of town.
This last weekend I finally went back to weigh in for the first time in 2008. It was not pretty. I had gained 7 pounds in 3 weeks! I knew I had gained so it was not a total shock but there is a part of me that hopes for some sort of gravitational miracle as soon as I step on the scale. That did not happen of course. (READ MORE)


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When I was in college for my undergraduate degree, I quickly realized that I needed some sort of diabetes support group in my life. Managing diabetes alongside classes and the craziness of a college schedule wasn't easy. So I put together a student organization on my campus called Diabetic Echoes for diabetics, friends/family of diabetics, or just general interest. I also made it an international network here on the web.

 

Through this group, I've made some of the best friends that I'll ever have. There is such a different aspect to a friend who not only understands the general stress of life, but gets how diabetes plays into every aspect of living. Someone who I can turn to without judgement and say that I'm down or that the highs/lows are getting to me and I don't know what to do. I don't think I would have made it through college the way I did if I didn't have that network to fall back on.

 

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Singers are very passionate people and a lot of times the power behind their voices comes from the struggles that they have encountered in life. This was definitely the way I felt as I watched Elliott Yamin put on a passionate and heart-felt show here in Columbia Tuesday night. (READ MORE)


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Last week when I suggested that the diabetes community design an awareness symbol akin to the breast cancer campaign's pink ribbon, I apparently hit a nerve with someone.


Nordtorp says he's not into the secret handshake thing and that ribbons and pins don’t make a difference. He doesn't think that wearing a trinket will cause more money to be funnelled into diabetes research.


I have to say that I whole-heartedly disagree. If someone asked you what are the major illnesses -- chronic or otherwise -- that affect the U.S. population, would the common person identify diabetes as one of them? Without a connection to diabetes, I doubt it. Does the common person even really understand what diabetes is? Not many.

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Got a phone call this morning from Susanne …

 

She told me that Charlie's blood sugar was 490 at 9am (about two hours after breakfast). She always tests him just before taking him to school to see if he needs a little carb boost or an insulin correction. Typically a number in the low to mid-200s at that time is what she expects to see. On those days, he falls into range nicely by 10 am.

 

She gave Charlie a correction of 1 unit and took him to school. While in the car, Charlie said he felt as if he had dropped 200 points. Sure enough, he dropped 200 points. Susanne checked him again and he was 300. Or maybe the 490 was a false number. Who knows!

 

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One of the things I hate most about having type 1 diabetes and polycystic ovarian syndrome (or PCOS) is the battle over my weight. Between blood sugars, insulin, and hormones, it can be incredibly tough to keep my weight at my acceptable level. Lately, that struggle seems even worse than normal. And I know a lot of is water weight that I can't seem to shake thanks to the hormones and possibly oral contraceptives.

 

In 2009, I began working out several hours multiple times per week. I was doing intensive cardio as well as a lot of strength training. I would spend hours on the treadmill (not at a time), at the track, or in a "Guts and Glutes" class. And I finally saw results on the scale. My weight dipped by about 15 pounds.

 

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I read a lot of blogs.  I guess, in hopes of identifying things I like about those blogs and bringing them to my own online writing.  Also, just because I'm interested in other people's experiences, what they have to say, and how they express those experiences. 

 

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It is often difficult to ask for help. Many of us see it as a sign of weakness, or as giving up our independence. In the case of those of us with diabetes, it may mean coming out of the insulin closet for the first time, exposing ourselves for possible loss of job opportunities, medical insurance, or even medical care. One might say that for some of us, getting the medications we need to live right now puts our future income, and our future health, at risk. On the other hand, sometimes that exposure can point the way for others with similar difficulties to find life-saving solutions. In that sense, those of us who go public with our pancreatically-challenged state are sometimes privileged to be the lightbearers for others' lives.

 

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I'm sharing something today that I've only really told one person. As I packed boxes then proceeded to get into another argument with Marvin for the week, my mind was racing on a thousand thoughts. But as I hashed over the argument with my best friend via text, I admitted something out in the open that I don't think I'd really even admitted to myself.

 

I want to go home. Not for a weekend trip, not for even a vacation. Honestly, I would love to come running back to my family and friends and give up the fight that is my life right now. Between school, work, and Marvin, the ease of being back in my old life sounds more than thrilling. It sounds like salvation.

 

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Brenda Bell
Brenda BellBrenda was diagnosed with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and Type 2 diabetes in July 2002. After a rocky start, her diabetes has been diet-controlled since January 2004 and she hopes to keep it that way for as long as possible. (Read More)
Nicole Purcell
Nicole PurcellNicole Purcell lists having type 1 diabetes last when she's asked to provide information about herself - because that's where it belongs.

(Read More)
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