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Last week, I spent several days in Mexico on vacation and on a business trip. With the extra carbs and the change in normal routine, my averages went from the 140's to the high 150's. I had one or two severe lows and a handful of minor lows. I also had one day where my pump site went sour and sent me soaring into the 300's for several hours.

Coming back from Mexico has been interesting on my blood sugars. I've had a few lows, of course. But at the same time, I've decided not to try so hard to keep my numbers down. I'm not completely blowing it, but I'm just not stressing myself out over highs and off numbers.

So Monday night, I decided to order a pizza while working on a research paper. It was nice to eat the pizza, do a fairly normal bolus, but not stress about what my blood sugar might be in the next 12 hours. I didn't even freak out when I saw consistent 200's on my meter screen.

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My blood sugars have been rocky in the last few days. I haven't made any insulin or exercise changes, but I've been staying fairly "low." And this evening, I hit rock bottom.

Most of my blood sugars have been in the 120's, which I'll take any day of the week. There have been a few 160's and an episode of 200's during my workout on Tuesday, but mostly I'm doing okay. Yet the bad lows are back.

Last night, I had a 56 a few hours before bed. And after juice and crackers, I was only 92. So I ate about 25 grams of LifeSavers and hoped for the best. Only to wake up to a 58. I ate breakfast, did insulin for the extra carbs, and headed to class.

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It feels like I've been lying in the rain for an hour.  I am soaked.  And where the hell am I?  How is it raining?  I'm inside, right? 

I can see the ceiling, its popcorn bumps popping out, and the place where it meets the hot pink wall in this room.  My room?  This is my room, right?  Oh, god, how did I get so wet?  And cold.  I'm shivering.  But why am I sweating?  I think I'm cold.

I feel nauseous too.  Really, really sick to my stomach.  I'm pretty sure I can't get up.  The floor seems a long way away. 

I pull out my insulin pump, which feels foreign in my hands, not at all like a part of my body (that's how it usually feels).  And I look for the CGM screen, but I can't find it.  And it doesn't occur to me that I'm not wearing the CGM, that I'm taking a break.  I can't really read the pump screen anyway, can I? 

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I haven't posted much on my other health conditions lately. Ever since taking Accutane, my PCOS seems to be much less of a concern. And my endometriosis is now something that I've adjusted to. But lately, I'm really feeling the physical and emotional strain of these other conditions.

The Accutane cleared my skin completely, although it did nothing for the hyperpigmentation and scarring left behind. My breakouts are now only happening around my period, although they are getting worse with each month. Nothing too alarming yet. I've been taking vitamin A every day for the past few months. I increased it the week of my last period which seemed to help that problem.

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As I looked at my averages last night in preparation for my Friday endo check-up, I couldn't help but complain to myself that there is no pattern. Every day is different, often drastically so. I can't find any constant area. There aren't variables causing these random shifts, at least not to the naked eye.

First, there's my morning blood sugars. Sometimes I wake up low even after a bedtime snack with no bolus. And sometimes I wake up in the 200 or 300 range with no apparent cause. Because of my history of seizures and severe lows, I lean towards the lows though. At this point in my life, I'd rather wake up 300 occasionally instead of trying to raise my insulin to counteract those highs.

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Everything seems to be all over the place lately. Despite catching up on school work and actually de-stressing this week, my blood sugars are bouncing like rubber balls in an airplane bin. My averages are up, yet I'm having rashes of severe lows. And by severe, I don't mean symptoms. I mean numbers and hypoglycemic unawareness.

Like last Thursday night, I cooked chili for a friend. Ate a giant bowl with cornbread, bolused for what I expected was way too little, and went on my way. Only to feel an urge to test a few hours later. No symptoms, just something in my brain saying that I should bite the bullet to test. And that urging left me staring at a 37. How?

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I'm kind of amazed at how such a small dose of Metformin can help my blood sugars in such a great way. I increased my dose to 500 mg on February 14th, but after a few days of pretty severe nausea, I decided to give myself a break to focus on a research paper and work. Yesterday, the 23rd, I started back on the Metformin at 250 mg.

But in those short five days off, my blood sugars started skyrocketing again. I was quickly seeing numbers in the 400 range and running consistently above 200. Nothing else changed except the Metformin.

I expect lower numbers by tomorrow even with the small 250 mg dose. I'm not sure how long I plan to keep it at the 250 mg since I do want to get to the max dose quickly, but I also can't deal with the side effects of this drug. I do not do well with nausea. It stops me cold in my tracks and prevents me from doing anything more than curling on the sofa and wanting to die.

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I’m just now, right this minute, recovering from my third difficult, strange low bloodsugar in just over a week.  

These are not your average lows.  They are terribly combative and confusing and physically exhausting.  They take hours to manifest fully, dropping precipitously after the first vague symptoms have been around with bloodsugars looking pretty normal (ie: headache, dizziness), and they toss me into senseless thoughts, argumentative behavior, repetitive speaking, and drastic weakness.  They take a LONG time to come up and A LOT of glucose (read: I’ve used partial glucagon injections to treat them).  

The after effects are just as disarming.  I’m exhausted, weak, scared, and typically having to deal with the aftermath of whatever fights I’ve picked or made worse with my argumentative behavior.  The impacts ripple out, and my energy has changed noticeably.  

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Every time I turn around lately, I'm low. These are beyond my "discomfort" zone and into the "scary" zone. I've had three below 70 just today. One that woke me, shaking and sweaty, at 7 this morning. A 55 in the afternoon. And the most recent, a 69 that felt much lower.

I know the facts of diabetes: too much insulin equals lows, too little insulin equals highs. It's not rocket science, really. But the frustrating part of these lows lately (pretty severe ones for the last two to three weeks) is that I'm lowering my insulin and I'm still seeing just as bad of lows. Nothing in my schedule or diet has changed, except that I'm exercising much less. I even had a urinary tract infection this past week.

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I think it's time to lower my Lantus. I'm continuing to have severe night lows and other drops throughout the day that range from the 70s to low 100s. It's beginning to interrupt my normal routine and it's greatly affecting my sleep. So tonight, I'm planning to lower my Lantus by one unit and see how that does.

Today has been like a cured nightmare. I was 55 overnight (after drinking half a 7up because I was 122 before bed). Thanks to an overtreat, I spiked to 242. I took my normal correction bolus (3 units Humalog), tried to sleep off a tension headache, and woke up at 69 with no symptoms.

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