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February 10th, 2012
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The magazine I work for is not for health-care professionals. It’s not even close to being something read by health-care professionals. Yet the audience deals with health-care and insurance issues on a regular basis. So for me to read and edit a story about wellness or diseases is not uncommon.
 

I have become quite defensive of the truths about diabetes and of making sure people understand the differences between type 1 and type 2. As someone who was originally diagnosed with type 2 and who lived with that label for three years I know the blame that can be placed on the victim.
 

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I haven't been walking lately. In fact, I can't remember the last time I went for a morning walk. I *do* remember putting my exercise clothes out one night certain that I'd be walking the next morning and then not actually walking.

 

I'm not sure what the problem is. Over the summer, naturally it was the heat. I've come to realize that it's not how hot it gets here, it's how long it's hot. And I think when you're so hot for so long you just don't want to do anything that makes you hotter.

 

As the summer wore on and the days got shorter, it was harder to get out of bed in the mornings. The Mr. and I would both hit snooze so many times that we'd almost be late for work! It was "easy" to do that since it stayed dark longer.

 

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I had the privilege of spending much of Saturday at the first annual New Jersey Bicycle Summit, which was a convocation of engineers, planners, and cycling advocates to discuss common issues and ways of addressing them. The theme of the summit was "Complete Streets", which is shorthand for "designing an infrastructure which supports every mode of local transportation" -- cars and trucks, bicycles, pedestrians, mobility-assist vehicles (e.g. wheelchairs & scooters), public/mass transportation, and so on. One of the more important takeaways from this meeting was that the details of a "complete street" will change from community to community, from street to street -- kind of like the way the details of diabetes management will change from person to person, from year to year.

 

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I woke up this morning thinking of a friend, Jennifer Stowers-Quintal. Jen was a promising teacher, artist, musician and dancer from the Boston area. The light of so many lives, including her amazing parents, her fiancé and her students at the Blackstone Elementary School in the South End of Boston, Jen passed away in 2003 at the age of 23 just 3 months after surviving the Station Nightclub Fire and 6 weeks before her planned wedding.

 

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I spent the better part of this week looking at apartment complexes, meeting with a potential graduate program, and learning more about the city that I'm moving to. I also went on a job interview and got lost a lot. My blood sugars stayed pretty decent throughout the stress and chaos, except for one bad high after a chocolate shake and a nasty low after Mexican food.

 

Each time I take a trip to where I'm moving, I get more and more excited. This time I really got to see where I might be living, envisioning myself driving those roads and shopping at the grocery stores. I'm still freaking out inside, wondering if this is the right decision for me. But despite the fear, I still know that I'm doing what's best for me right now and that I'm keeping my health as my priority.

 

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Today was my first day at JDRF. I still can't get used to saying that I work for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Talk about dreams coming true.

 

It was a day of paperwork, training, and Gala activities. I'm definitely finding my footing on many levels even though I've volunteered with JDRF for several years and I've lived with this disease for over eighteen. There is a lot to learn and a lot to process.

 

But here I am, decompressing with my patio door open and the TV running in the background. I am about three pages away from being done with a major paper due Monday. I am also considering submitting an application to my alma mater for a Certificate in Non-profit Management. I haven't decided yet and don't want to waste the $50 though.

 

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A few years ago, we made a fundraising video of Charlie to the song, Fix You by Coldplay. At the time, I chose the song because ... well, I liked it and because of this line in the song:

 

"I will try to fix you."

 

In just six words, it conveyed so much. It was perfect. That’s why we raise money for a cure.

 

I had known the song, but never really paid too much attention to the words aside from the "fix you" part. But when making the video, frame by frame, and really paying attention to the lyrics, I could not believe how much the song seemed to relate to life with diabetes.

 

"When you try your best but you don’t succeed." (I hear that. How about every day!)

 

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I'm in the middle of changing several habits and it's frustrating trying to keep up. Especially when I'm still acclimating to my job and trying to find some peace in a very insane world. I think this past weekend with my mom really helped me sort through some things in my life though which has me feeling like I can do this.

 

One major change that I'm trying to do is to manage my money a little tighter. After taking the new job, my income suddenly got a lot higher. So I started spending higher and that didn't sit well with the saver in me. In efforts to save more for a house and truly assess whether I can afford the extra expense that owning my own home brings, I'm living on cash for the next month or two. I'm cleaning house in the money department, living with as little as possible while still maintaining a lifestyle that I want. So far, it's working fine but I haven't been to Target in a few days (Target being my arch nemesis for saving money).

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Turning 21 has been the biggest birthday that I've had in quite awhile. I've been celebrating for the past three days with family and friends. For a birthday that really doesn't mean much to me. Yet somehow, I've turned it into a major event.

 

Being 21 feels better, just because it feels less like I'm still a kid and more like I'm an adult. Telling people I'm 21 instead of 20 will definitely be nice, I'm sure. But otherwise, this birthday and those numbers don't mean much to me.

 

Because I've generally decided that I won't drink. So being legal for alcohol isn't that exciting. (However, being legal for Las Vegas casinos is!)

 

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Recently, I was talking with a good friend who has a daughter with a serious medical issue that has significant impacts on her speech and learning. We were discussing the frustration it causes when the world insists on defining the life of a child by way of the things they can't or won't do - outright ignoring the possibility and potential a child has.

 

 

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Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
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