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I have been MIA again for the past two weeks. The week before this one, I spent six days in Mexico with my mom enjoying some delicious food, soaking up the sun, and relaxing. It was much needed and much appreciated. This week has been incredibly chaotic between work, the Valentine's holiday, and general life craziness. I have a lot to update on though and several posts in the works.

First and foremost, my blood sugars are staying fairly well behaved. My 90 day average is at 186 (compared to 200+ just a month or so ago) and my 7 day average is in the 170s. I'm still battling lows that drop very quickly (and unexpectedly as you'll see in another post) to the 50s as well as a few highs in the upper 200s and 300s (still haven't figured out why I had 4 of those last week for no apparent reason). My Lantus is at 32 units as opposed to the former 33 units and I'm still taking 250mg of Metformin every day.

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This past weekend was absolutely wonderful. I trekked to central Texas to spend the weekend in the company of my oldest friend (known the longest, not oldest by age) and attend the JDRF Austin Type 1 Now event. I also had the awesome pleasure of meeting Kerri Sparling who blogs over at Six Until Me and others.

Friday night, my non-diabetic friend and I had a late dinner and glass of wine after I'd sat in traffic for most of the evening. We stayed up chatting for awhile, just catching up and having some good laughs. The feeling of being with a friend of almost 12 years is indescribable. There is not much we haven't been through together and it's so appreciated.

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Every year, the "blue versus red" argument comes up as diabetes bloggers and patient advocates discuss the relative merits of the American Diabetes Association, the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, the Diabetes Research Institute, the International Diabetes Foundation, and World Diabetes Day. This week, however, the color of diabetes is pink.

Diabetes UK pink.

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Europe is absolutely amazing. I love the languages, the atmosphere, the weather. I find it enthralling that you walk everywhere. The open air markets are insane.  Everything is so perfect, so ancient, so human about this place.

Every time I turn around, we're learning something new about a culture, a language, or just this life in general. Yesterday, we toured a small town in Italy. It was perfectly picteresque. Today was Barcelona where you could buy exquisite chocolate creations in an open air market.

We still have four more stops here on the cruise plus the few days we've added to our trip for Italy. I'm totally excited about these next places. They are completely new and I have no idea what to expect.

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Sometimes I wonder why I moved four hours away from my family and friends. Sometimes the nights are tough, long, and sleepless. Sometimes I'm homesick and in need of a nice girls' night with my best friends.

Every time that happens, I think of two things: what made me move and what it'd be like to move back. The first is easy. I had multiple factors pushing me away from home and into a new adventure. I wanted to try something different, move away from the city that I'd always known and away from the instant network of friends and family. I wanted a good graduate program that I didn't have to wait months to attend. I wanted to be close to Marvin.

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last night I screamed. I screamed in the kitchen last night. I beat my fists against my legs and pounded my feet against the cold tile floor like a child in the midst of a temper tantrum. I clenched my fists and screamed.
 

silently.
 

a tedious task that needed steady hands. interrupted. I screamed last night.
 

silently.
 

nothing to do but sit on the couch. and wait. and scream. unsure of when the shaking will be gone so I can pick up and continue with my task. with life.
 

I am screaming now. 76 and a nose dive showing on Dex. I do not want to eat. I am not hungry. The thought of sugar makes me want to vomit.
 

I am screaming now.
 

silently.

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Eat slowly, stay away from diabetes - Times of India

Don't look directly into its eyes, no sudden moves and for heaven's sake, keep your distance

Ontario Optometrists Help People with Diabetes See into the Future

"See" into the future. Get it???

DIABETES IS WEIGHING HEAVY; Obesity epidemic feeding a national crisis - Daily Examiner

"Weighing heavy." Get it???

Landmark Group opens registrations for 'Beat Diabetes' - KWT

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Well, it's about 10 pm and we are in the danger zone. Charlie had a couple of slices of pizza with thick crust at about 6 pm. So I'm right here waiting for pizza to do its despicable business. No matter what we do, it's like we are against all odds. It happens time after time.

All I need is a miracle right about now. I'm afraid we'll be up all night long. I just want to get through the night without jabbing needles in his arm and without ketones and without cursing under my breath. It's like one thing leads to another. I can't go for that. Not tonight.

At 99, his blood sugar is borderline and eerily fine at the moment, but how will I know it won't still take a terrible turn for the worse? Here I go again. I feel like I'm constantly playing this game. Diabetes, you spin me round. Round and round.

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Insulin is time in a bottle.

When I think about the very small amount of clear liquid that keeps me healthy and alive, I'm sometimes astounded.  That teeny tiny amount of insulin is another day to make a difference, another day to feel the sun on my face, another day to spend with the people I love, another day to make the most of it.  When I'm frustrated and sad, I remember that.  On occasion, I'll draw a few of those funky smelling drops into a syringe, letting it fill my senses and really remind me of the power those teeny droplets have.  

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