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I love this time of year. As soon as we can "spring ahead" and gain that hour of sunlight in the afternoon, I get excited. Before this last Sunday it was dark soon after I got home from work which meant no Disc Golf during the week.
A while back I wrote a post about how I am
not a typical gym guy. I like to exercise in non-traditional ways such as racquetball or
disc golf instead of being strapped to a machine at a health club. Well now that the days are longer I can meet my buddies at the park after work for a round of disc golf. If you can throw a Frisbee then you can play this game. It is not nearly as frustrating to me as golf is. I am terrible at traditional golf.
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It seems like lately I've felt more abnormal than ever before in my life. I've always known I wasn't like the rest of the world. I have always been the different kid, the one who had to eat different food, the one who did shots all the time. I thought that I wouldn't feel so different when I got older. I figured that with time diabetes would be just a part of my life like being a brunette or having freckles. Now I'm getting older and diabetes is completely ingrained in me, but I still feel different.
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I am on the eliptical trainer, rather lost in the music coming from my Ipod. I'm into the second half of my one hour of cardio for the day. I'm starting to feel a little weak - so I keep my legs moving and grab my test kit from the water bottle slot. I fumble my hands through the test, while my poor legs struggle to remain coordinated. Damn it. 73 mg/dl. This is not good. If I want this work out to continue, I best act fast. Legs still moving, I open the
hammer gel pack I'd brought for just such an occasion.
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I'm having a good week for the walking goal. I have walked 5 out of 7 days. The 2 days I skipped were over the weekend and I think I was active enough with errands, chores and my kids. I have my employer to thank for the motivation.
I have signed up for a program offered through my company to improve my health. While a lot of it is just reading; not much of it new information, they offer coaching sessions as well. The first interview was not inspiring at all; I seemed to know more about Type 2 diabetes and my thyroid condition than the interviewer did. But she did set me up for a consultation with a dietician. The dietician is the one who is holding me accountable for my exercise. She will be calling me once a week for a while to keep me on track.
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I was going to write a post about glucose tabs today to represent the letter G. But I'm not going to deliver as promised. Because, another G has been on my mind of late and I wanted to write about it.
What, pray-tell, could deter me from the path of a post about chalky-lemony glucose tabs? Nothing terribly exciting - just the gym.
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I hate exercising. I should rephrase that. I hate typical exercise. You know what I mean. Stuff like lifting weights, stair steppers, treadmills, those scary machines, aerobics, jazzercise, and pretty much all the stuff you see at the typical "gym."
And that is the other part of it. Every gym in my neck of the woods feels like you can not enter until you are fit and trim. So yours truly who has a long way to go would feel very out of place until I was a total lean mean D machine.
Of course being a "born again diabetic" I know that
exercise needs and should be a part of my daily routine. So how do I make the non-existent gym rat in my come out?
Simple, I find something that I actually like to do and run with that!
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Over the summer, I developed a regular workout routine that helped me lose weight and maintain better blood sugars. When I got back to school, I set out to do the same. But after a couple weeks of doing well, my routine quickly dwindled to become non-existent.
I gained two pounds back and my averages are definitely not as stable as they were over the summer. Yet I can't seem to motivate myself to get to the gym. I could make the time, if I truly wanted to, so it isn't like it's impossible. And I have two workout buddies that are there any time I want to.
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"I feel so lost," Susanne says, her voice crestfallen.
She calls me at work to give me the 10:15 am
blood sugar report.
Great, I think to myself, she's going to say that he's really high or really low.
My desk is at the base of a winding staircase that has translucent neon green panels. I sit here, watching people climb up and down steps all day. Up and down. Up and down. Some climb slow and steady. Others descend quick and reckless, reaching the floor level with a thump.
I watch flickering stock market numbers and a cerulean blue mountain range of line charts on my computer screen. Always changing. Never at rest. The FTSE 100 Index up 94. The Nikkei down 74. Mexican Bolsa Index down 312. But I just see blood sugars.
"Why are you lost?"
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Lately, I've been out of sync. Off kilter. In a rut.
I'm not making it to the gym as often as I should. My meter average has crept from the low 100s to 158 mg/dl in the past couple of months. I am ignoring the lunches I pack and and either not eating at all or eating whatever crap is available in the office lunchroom.
I'm not sure exactly how it happens, this out of sorts business. But it feels like every so often, I go right off the rails without even realizing it's happening. One day, I think maybe I've got a handle on diabetes, weight, work, life. And in an instant, it changes.
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Thanks to En Vogue for those lyrics. We got back from vacation late Friday night but I'm still feeling my way back to my "new normal".
10 days in New Mexico in a travel trailer with kids (ages 4 & 1) - it went really well! Yes, that's shock you see in my punctuation! We went places and saw people and ran, ran, ran. The weather was beautiful, highs hovering around 80. They have gotten a lot of rain and some Dolly-effect flooding this summer, so it was quite lush by New Mexico standards.
Unfortunately, I didn't replace my workouts as I had hoped I would. Read that as "hoped, but didn't make definite plans for ahead of time." I need to remember that for the future. On the plus side, I was much more active than usual.
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