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February 10th, 2012
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When I inserted the first sensor on Saturday, I thought it might give me a little trouble. It'd been through a lot in the last months (traveling around in my "everyday" case and moving from fridge to backpack to suitcase multiple times). It looked old, it looked like it wouldn't work. But I gave it a shot anyway.

 

And my suspicions were confirmed. It gave me two error messages before showing me a steady level in the 50's when I was perfectly okay. Instead of messing with a crazy sensor and wondering about its accuracy for days, I changed it out. I had an entire new box of them anyway and I don't use them often enough to be upset on throwing one out.

 

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There are some days when a person ought to just stay in bed. 

 

Under the covers.

 

Cuddled with the cat.

 

Warm and safe and happy and comfortable.

 

There are some days when staying in bed is the best possible option.  Of course, those days are often realized in hindsight.  When the proverbial ball is already rolling in the absolute wrong direction.

 

Today has been, without a doubt, one of those days.

 

I got up this morning feeling alright.  Fairly well-rested, actually, and not fighting - as I'm wont to do - the inevitable reality that another day has dawned and it can't be spent in the paradise of slumber.

 

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Sometimes I get in slumps with my diabetes. I just put things off and don't watch much. I guess you could say that I get kind of "spacey" about all things diabetes related.

 

The last few days I've been feeling this "spacey" feeling. I don't test like I should. I don't log anything. I can barely remember to bolus.

 

Today, I've checked my blood sugar three times. Once when I woke up. Once before lunch. And once a few hours ago because I was low. Good pattern, huh?

 

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Fifteen years. A decade and a half. Thousands of days. Millions of minutes. Over half my life.
It doesn't seem real that I've lived with diabetes for fifteen years. It doesn't seem fathomable that this is only the first fifteen years of many more. I can't imagine how the rest of my life will daily involve diabetes despite the daily involvement of the last fifteen years. I just can't picture more infusion sets, more doctors appointments, more worries. (READ MORE)


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So my kids started school on Monday. Yep, super duper extra early. We have a modified year round school district. So we get seven to eight weeks off in the summer and two weeks off in the fall, winter and spring. I’m not sure I like it. I like the shorter summers because my kids get bored even with lots of activities to keep them busy. But the two weeks in fall and spring can be torturous. I’d rather have, say, a four day weekend in the fall and a regular one-week spring break. Again, the kids are bored, and finding camps or classes for them is expensive. I’m lucky to have my parents in town and they watch the kids, but I have to find something to keep them busy or they’ll drive my parents nuts. Of course, this also means finding something for all three that doesn’t involve my mom running all over town all day.

 

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Last week I called my OB's office.

 

"Hi. I'm a patient of Dr. I. I'll be 35 next week, haven't had a period in 57 days and I'm not pregnant," I told the triage nurse. "And the last few cycles have gotten progressively farther apart."

 

"Well," she said, "women can have signs of perimenupause as many as 10 years before they actually go into perimenopause or menopause."

 

Fantastic, I thought. Just what I needed to hear: You are officially getting old.

 

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Stay.

Don't move.

Don't change.

Do nothing different.

Retrace yesterday's steps. 

Put on the same jeans.

Exert the same amount of energy.

Count out exactly eight mini pancakes.

Pour 4 ounces of milk.

Skin at the infusion site: Stay taut and unblemished.

Liver: Do whatever it is you've been doing. It's working.

Weather: Don't change. Stay dreary and damp.

Moon: stay half-full and bright.

Tube: be crystal clear and free of air bubbles.

Nightmares: not today!

Arguments: be nonexistent.

Stress of any kind: stay away!

Growth hormones: It's hard to tell you to scram, but settle down, will ya?

Liver: I mean it. If you've got to tinkle, tinkle the same amount of glucose and at the same exact rate.

 

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Having people over your house for Easter is stressful enough. Running around fetching a beer for someone or pouring a glass of wine or opening a jar of pickles or dancing to Viva Las Vegas on Wii, I kept seeing Charlie out of the corner of my eye with crackers in his mouth. Not a diabolical act for a normal 9 year old. But throw in diabetes and it's a potential mess.

 

"Charlie, how many have you had?"

 

He says four, maybe five. 

 

"SUSANNE," I tattle like a child, "HE'S JUST EATING AWAY!!!"

 

The juggling master takes the asparagus out of the oven, puts a lasagna into the oven, mixes olive oil into a large bowl of sliced potatoes, pours Ben a cup of apple juice and says,

 

"Just bolus for 20."

 

I bend down and press Charlie's buttons.

 

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The clock hits 2:58 a.m.; it’s very early and dark this Thursday morning. I ask myself, “What in the F am I doing?” I’m wondering around the apartment with no lights on, nothing, not even the smallest of lights is on. I’m contemplating a lot right now. I had one of those days where I felt very alone. It’s not even all diabetes related, although, actually as I think about it even more I realize it all probably comes back to that.
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We live in Southern California not too far from "the happiest place on earth." With that, season passes to "The big D" (as we refer to it) are a very good investment for us. We can go during the week after work for a few hours. Ofter we head over after church on Sunday for a few rides and then head home. The kids don't flip out because they know that we can go back when we want to. It works quite well for us and it's a blast!
Except when diabetes shows up in the form of a very scary low.
We made dinner reservations in New Orleans Square and we had to rush from Space Mountain which is on the other side of the park. My sister and her fiance took the lead and my wife and kids brought up the rear. Snaking through a ton of people is the easiest way to move quickly. Single file and move fast. I was at the very back of the line and of course started to feel low. (READ MORE)


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Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
Nicole Purcell
Nicole PurcellNicole Purcell lists having type 1 diabetes last when she's asked to provide information about herself - because that's where it belongs.

(Read More)
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