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We found 10 result(s) that match your search "Figuring things out":

I am not an angry person. Or a sad person. Really.
Most of the time, I'm fairly easy-going. I don't dwell for too long on the things I can't change, I try not to let those niggling things get the best of me. I often try to look on the bright side. I'm certainly not one of those annoyingly positive people you'd like to punch because they're so cheerful, but I'm pleasant. And although I won't be rolled over and you better not screw with someone I care about - or you'll suffer my wrath - I don't go out of my way to pick fights or hurt anyone.
But then sometimes I have a low bloodsugar. And well, then - all bets are off. My easy-going nature often exits the premises of my body and "the beast" emerges. (READ MORE)

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Tonight, I wanted to attend a local diabetes support group. I know I'm almost 18 years in the game so it seems a bit weird to be getting into a support group, but I've found myself really struggling with things lately. I feel like sitting with other diabetics, remembering what those initial times were like, might help me get through this rough patch that I'm facing.

 

Unfortunately, today didn't go as planned so I'm not going to make it tonight. Today was frustrating, but it's nothing like yesterday. And I'm finding myself very overwhelmed tonight.

 

It has been a week that I wasn't home much. Between spending a lot of time in class and at work, I also worked a lot at Marvin's house. I've also spent my time attempting to decide on my current living situation.

 

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I have to say that I was a little stunned last week when I found out that my insurance company had changed its policy regarding continuous glucose monitors. While I don't know exactly what that means yet, it's likely that the change will be in my favor (i.e., no more of this "disposable coverage" BS). At least, I hope.
 

One of the benefits my company offers is the use of a health company that advocates on our behalf for things like figuring out what you may owe after a hospital stay or what gets applied to your deductible. Basically, these people are in the health-care trenches and can help you sort out any issues or problems you're having.
 

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I believe a good workout comes with sweat. Which is why I don’t exercise during my lunch break and also why I prefer to exercise first thing in the morning.

 

I prefer to do my exercise walking outside. Using a treadmill is a last resort for me. I’m one of those weird people who’s more likely to exercise if it means I *don’t* have to go to the gym.

 

I’ve written a number of times lately about being committed to figuring out how to fit exercise into my schedule. The farthest I’ve gotten is the part where I say I’m going to think about it. But I’m getting fluffy and clothes that used to fit beautifully aren’t so much any more. Plus, I feel good when I exercise.

 

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Diabetes gets old.

Pricking my finger, taking insulin, filling my pump, going to the doctors, counting carbs, and all the rest of the stuff we have to do to manage this stupid disease gets old. Fast!

So with that Diabetes Burnout happens.

I know for myself I get burned out every few months. I just get to that point where I want to give up and take a little vacation from it all. Not necessarily throwing in the towel or forgetting all about it, since we all know where that will lead, but maybe a few less tests or not worrying so much for a particular day.

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I am severely lacking motivation here lately. My diabetes is all over the place with blood sugars like 223 or 345. I am one big diabetes mess. Because I just don't care.

 

Which is a total lie. I hate having numbers that high. I do care. I cringe every time I see it on the meter screen. I avoid checking just because I know that it's not going to be pretty. I do care.

 

I just apparently don't care enough to put diabetes on the priority list. I don't care enough to log the past two months of numbers that I've skipped out on. I don't care enough to give the right boluses to cover the high carb snacks that I'm consuming. I don't care to raise my Lantus to offset those carbs or even sometimes take my Lantus.

 

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Logging. It is something every diabetic should do. It is important in terms of identifying patterns and making decisions about dosing - and it is vital to figuring out when you need to be paying more attention and where your problem areas are in the course of a day. I remember the bad old days of handwritten logbooks. They were cumbersome and not at all useful, even when they were kept up and brought to the doctor. Technology has come a long way and there are many great tools available for logging everything we need to be tracking. But, for me at least, logging is still an excruciating task. (READ MORE)

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So last night and this morning, diabetes was a real b**tch.  I woke up at 2:22 am with a bloodsugar of 18 mg/dl.  I was alone in my apartment.  And completely confused.  I had about eighteen ridiculous notions in my head, felt enormously sad, and honestly had a hard time at first even figuring out where I was.  It wasn’t good.  I don’t really remembering testing, except seeing that very low number staring back at me from my One Touch.  I drank some juice from the fridge, standing at the door on my wobbly legs and crying.  

 

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Food is frustrating to me. Ever since I can remember, food has been a completely different aspect in my life than what my family, peers, and humanity deals with. Yes, food is a source of energy and existence. Yes, it's amazing. Yes, it packs on the pounds. But it's also a total love-hate relationship with me. For one reason: diabetes.

 

When I was first diagnosed, my life was thrown into "sugar-free" mode. My sugar intake was limited. I never tasted a real coke unless I was low. I didn't get to eat normal candy or normal desserts. Everything was tainted by fake sugar, a chemical taste that couldn't replace my childhood need for some old-fashioned sugar.

 

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This morning I set about getting Lantus and figuring out the doctor situation from yesterday. So I followed my plan to call the new doctor's nurse first then the CDE I know at the clinic if that didn't work. I was prepared to raise a little "cane" if need be, but desperately hoped they would make it easy.

 

I called the new doctor's nurse wanting to speak to the nice one that I spoke to yesterday. Unfortunately, she wasn't in. So I ended up speaking to another nurse, who was quite rude. When she first began the phone call, she wouldn't let me speak to tell her about the issue which got the whole thing off to a rocky start.

 

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