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February 9th, 2012
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I have vivid dreams. When I close my eyes at night, a whole new world appears, in living color. My dreams hold smells and sounds and sights that often rival the sensory reality of my waking life. There have been times when I could swear I've seen people, had conversations, and done things in real life, when these memories were simply creations of my sleeping mind. I know that I talk, run, laugh, and cry while I sleep; something that makes sharing a bed with me a real challenge. I suppose that the vividness of my dreams might be a reflection of the constant activity in my brain. (READ MORE)


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Since I started taking a mood stabilizer nearly two weeks ago as part of my treatment program for bipolar I've had some pretty weird and interesting dreams. And telling, actually.

 

One of the most memorable was last week when I dreamed I had gotten a job as a manager at Walmart. Though the offer didn't come directly to me; The Mr. had fielded the call. I asked him if I was going to be the manager of the store or just one of the departments. He said he didn't know and told me to hurry up and get dressed because I was already late. I was putting on a faux suede jacket and making sure my earrings matched my outfit. I said outloud to The Mr: "Should I call Jean and tell her? Or should I just go and see how the job is and decide later if I should quit?" Jean is my boss in real life.

 

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It doesn't happen very often, but occasionally my subconscious decides to connect with reality. I'm talking about dreaming. And lows.

 

This morning, I was in the middle of another bizarre dream. I've had several nightmares lately so this dream was a small relief compared to the horror stories going on in my sleep. Marvin and I were driving in an unknown city attempting to get into a parking garage. For some reason, we'd stopped in the middle of the road.

 

Next I know, there is a car rammed into the back of ours. Suddenly, I was low in my dream. My stomach had that butterfly feeling. I pulled out my meter and checked even amidst the car accident. According to my dream, I was only 120.

 

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Managing my son's diabetes is often like a game of chicken.  A blood sugar of 65 before bedtime when just two hours earlier he had French fries. That's a tough spot to be in. I'm almost certain his blood sugar will rise from those fries, but when? When will it rise? What if he goes even lower? It's like the blood sugar is bluffing, but what can I do? I'm forced to give him a slight carb boost knowing that it will ultimately make the situation worse.

 

Diabetes wins this game of chicken. Susanne sets the alarm for 2 am as we await the anticipated wrath of the fries.

 

But what happens when you sleep through the alarm? Wouldn't it be cool if a character from your dreams was there to wake you up?

 

She was not a pretty sight, this woman. She had hairy legs, several missing teeth, unkempt hair, was in her late 60s and she cruised around on roller skates. And, um ... she was topless.

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Ever since I can remember, I've been a dreamer. Not only do I get lost in vivid day dreams, but my subconscious takes over in the darkness of night with raging images. Over the years, I've come to realize that I have a history of especially strange dreams.

 

They are a mix of nightmares, unrealistic events, and practical moments. I've had some that were premonitions, predicting coming events. Others were so far out of the box that I don't expect anything to resemble them in real life.

 

But the one thing that my mind usually keeps out of my dreams is diabetes and pain. No nightmare has ever involved diabetes complications, seizures, or even diabetes moments. It's so ingrained in my daily life that my brain doesn't find the need to remind me of it in my sleep.

 

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I was at work, walking toward the cafeteria when Bert grabbed me. I play soccer with Bert. He was shaking and moving in clumsy circles and clearly disoriented. I immediately got out my testing supplies and checked his blood sugar. I snapped the pricker against his finger and blood drops spilled out continuously like a leaky faucet. When I saw the 7 on the meter screen, my heart stopped beating for a moment. I had never seen single digits. I sat Bert down in a chair and screamed for help. "I need juice! (READ MORE)


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When you see the check-mark-y swoosh, you think Nike, right? An apple gets you the computer company, golden arches make you think of cheesburgers, a peacock will have you thinking Must See TV, a red cross... you get the picture.

 

And when it comes to health there are several very recognizable symbols of support, perhaps the most popular is the pink ribbon for breast cancer. I was doing some research today on breast cancer and realized that the pink ribbon is quite possibly the only symbol synonymous with only one health condition. Even the red ribbon went from AIDS to a host of other causes.

 

You see a pink ribbon you instantly think breast cancer; you see a red, green or yellow ribbon and you have to do some thinking or asking. While many diabetes organizations and associations have their own symbols, there is not one that is universal for diabetes.

 

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I had one of those dreams last night.  The kind of dream where I'm no longer diabetic.  I both love and hate these kinds of nighttime imaginings. 

 

In the dream, I was at a table with two old friends.  We were eating from giant plates with these even more humungous forks.  There was cake and bread and stuffing.  Non-carb food too, but mostly heaping helpings of crap that will send bloodsugar into the stratosphere.  

 

I reached for my pump, only to find it wasn't there.  I pawed at my thigh looking for a site - to no avail.  When I looked down at my lap, I saw that my thighs weren't littered with pump scars.  I looked at my hands, not a callous to be found. 

 

Confused, I asked my friends "Did you guys see where I put my pump?"

 

"Pump?"  They said in unison.

 

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Been having weird dreams... Guess I'm a little anxious about the endo tomorrow... So in honor of odd dreams and anxiety:
Twas the night before my endo appointment, when all through the place Not a meter was stirring, had my pump at my waist My gym clothes were tucked in my backpack with care, And I hoped that my work would show on the scale.
And I was nestled all snug in my bed, While visions of low A1Cs danced in my head. And me in my 'kerchief, and Bob in his cap, Had just settled our brains for an early fall nap.
When in a weird dream there arose such a clatter, The doctor he told me everything was the matter. He said that my A1C had risen so fast, And my weight was through the roof, I was simply aghast.
The moon it showed down as I tossed to and fro The bad news continued from my dreamland endo. When, what to my sleeping brain did appear But a 400 plus cholesterol number, and my control-loss so clear. (READ MORE)


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On such a winter's day.
I had another diabetes dream last night. It was even more horrible than the last one I had. The one where I was testing Charlie and a blue liquid spilled from his finger rather than blood.
At 2:17 am, I scrambled in the darkness and found a nubby pencil the size of a cigarette butt and scrap paper to jot it all down before it faded fast from my memory. I should have just stayed in bed and let this terrible dream disappear.
[WARNING: gets a bit heavy] (READ MORE)


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Carey Potash
Carey PotashCarey is a full-time hater of diabetes. The benefits stink. His 7-year-old son, Charlie, has been giving he and his wife the finger since November of 2003. Carey's parenting humor has appeared in various websites and print magazines. He resides in the suburbs of Philadelphia with his wife and three children. (Read More)
Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
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