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Back on April 1st, I finished a six month round of Accutane for severe acne caused by PCOS and a bad reaction to some treatments for PCOS. Now that I'm four months post treatment, I'm really starting to see the effects. Now I'm wondering what to do about the scarring that I have.

First, let me say that Accutane was the biggest blessing in my acne treatment. It's caused some nasty (and some lasting) side effects that I really could do without. But overall, it cleared my skin and allowed me to regain the person that I used to be before PCOS tried to destroy me. My skin is generally clear these days with only a few breakouts here and there probably due to hormones and stress.

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I'm finishing my second month on Accutane this week. So far, I've seen about a 60 to 70% improvement in my acne. Unfortunately, my doctor says it's still not where he wants it to be (and I completely agree). He's increased my dose to the maximum and plans to keep it there for the next three months (the rest of my course) unless the side effects become too much to handle.

Another reason for the increase is to avoid a relapse after I go off of it. He's mentioned this to me several times...that he isn't quite sure Accutane will be a permanent fix for me. The reason being that if I truly do have PCOS (which multiple doctors have agreed with now) then my hormones will just go back to where they were and it won't matter.

So I'm taking some time today to look into my different options with PCOS treatment. Unfortunately, I've done or am doing quite a few of the suggestions. And I'm just not sure where else to turn.

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It's my last day of Accutane. I've officially finished five grueling months of the "miracle drug." I cannot say that I'll miss it.

The first two months weren't unbearable. Increasingly dry skin, headaches, and off and on joint pain. Easy enough to handle. Even with the rising insulin resistance that started within two days of starting the drug.

Month three was a hurdle. A big one. Rashes on my arms, migraines, constant back pain, and the fatigue. Oh, the fatigue. Month four and five have been difficult as well. Muscle cramps, unquenchable thirst, insomnia, and all sorts of dryness. On top of that extensive fatigue.

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I feel extremely out of sorts with myself lately. I feel out of my own body, like I'm a wakling zombie. I ache, I hurt, I have no energy. And it's greatly affecting my moods. I feel so raw, so broken, so frustrated.

I have 61 days left on the Accutane. And I cannot wait. I may even throw a party on my last day. I'm literally going insane at the moment. Just trying to make it 61 more days...without crawling into a hole.

I keep reminding myself that it's working. My last check up showed roughly 70% improvement. And this last dosage increase has me even more improved. I'm going several days to a week without breakouts, getting far fewer when they happen, and not spending as much time hating myself in the mirror. I wish I was completely clear, but I know that I'm just finishing the third month here and I have two more to go so I can't expect perfection quite yet.

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I am extremely irritated with my blood sugars and myself lately. I wish that I could just throw in the towel, I'm that frustrated. But I know I can't, because if I do...I stop living. I'm just so overwhelmed with the fact that no matter what I do, diabetes doesn't cooperate.

Since my Accutane dosage was raised, my blood sugars have started bouncing all over the place again. From 299 to 348 to 205 to 280. It's never-ending. It's frustrating. It makes me want to chunk the insulin and the meters out the window.

And on top of the blood sugar side effects, Accutane (or something!) is throwing lots of wrenches into my life. I'm getting migraines. I'm spacey. I'm fatigued. I'm lacking all motivation. And I'm just generally feeling like I want to quit it all.

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Weaning off then completely stopping the progesterone has been interesting. I've definitely felt my old symptoms come back, like I mentioned last week. A drop in mood, fatigue, and some of the joint pain are the main issues. But there have also been positive changes.

Like the level of pre-period pelvic pain didn't start the usual two weeks out. Of course, my period could be another two weeks away since they are incredibly irregular. But so far, I've only had maybe 2 days of pelvic pain as opposed to a usual 5-10 days. If I could limit it without progesterone, the endometriosis surgery might completely clear whatever else is causing the pain. We'll have to wait to see about that one though.

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It's my time...to have the best of both worlds.

The last week has been filled with high numbers. Consistent results in the 300's. Morning numbers in the 170's and higher. Only two lows, brought on by extensive Humalog use. 217 is not a pleasant average to look at.

I'm positive that I know exactly why these numbers are all so high. Which frustrates me (the reason, not the knowing). A bad mix of birth control pills and Accutane. Both have side effects like high blood sugar or blood sugar changes.

I'd definitely say these were high and definitely changed. And I'm very annoyed. I've raised my Lantus to 31 units in the evening, which has brought lower numbers for today. So I'll leave it at 31 units for the next day or two in order to see how it's working long term.

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I'm currently on Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo, which is a low estrogen triphasic birth control. I picked this one years ago because it was low estrogen and had the same progestin that's known to decrease acne. Plus it comes in a pretty nifty diskette...mine has a flower on it in fact. I only stayed on it for six months back then though because it wasn't really helping with the cramping that I was having. Nor did my acne seem to improve.

I went back on it a few months ago because of the Accutane regimen that requires birth control use. It seemed the safest option after Seasonique left me with 21 days of breakthrough bleeding. This is my second completed pack. And I think I'm beginning to see a pattern with my blood sugars.

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I usually research every prescription I get (minus typical decongestants, cold medicine, antibiotics, etc) before I even think of filling them. I've never been one to trust that the doctor knows everything. Too many years of the doctor knowing just too little of everything. Plus a strong sense of taking care of my body in a more natural way...all leave me wary of conventional medicine.

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I'm six weeks into my Accutane treatment. My first month I had a 45% improvement from my starting point. The second month seems about the same, but we'll see in the next two weeks. I've had quite a few side effects. Dry lips being the worst. I'm only recently starting to experience extensive dry skin, leaving me with tiny red rashes much like eczema. I've had back pain, some joint pain, and a few headaches.

The worst side effect has been the effect it had on my blood sugars...forcing me to raise my Lantus and lower my insulin to carb ratios due to intense insulin resistance. Luckily, I've managed to get that into much better control. And I'm looking forward to it resolving once I'm done with this treatment.

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