I am sometimes disappointed by the things my body can't do or by the things my does because of my diabetes. Like yesterday, when a downward cruising bloodsugar derailed my plans for a solid workout at the gym.
I was let down by my body's inability to stabilize.
I was let down by the fact that what has been working very well in terms of late afternoon/early evening basal dosing failed me.
And I was let down by the fact that even after juice and an early dinner of 40 carb grams with no bolus, I barely got thirty five minutes of exercise in before my rapidly dropping bloodsugar forced me to stop...
89 mg/dl (feeling a wee-bit off - juice and food, no bolus, 1/2 hour drive to the gym)... just before starting my workout 97 mg/dl (on the upswing, I reasoned, very good, but I'm still a bit lightheaded)... 15 minutes in on the elliptical 103 mg/dl (good, sustaining, but man, I feel like crap)... 20 minutes in 74 (uh-oh... legs don't fail me now)... 30 minutes in 51 mg/dl (ef-ity, ef, ef, ef, why does time appear to be moving at the pace of an inebriated snail)... I pushed through the last five minutes and then tested at 38 mg/dl with my knees wobbling and my head aching. More juice. And two hours later 219 mg/dl...
Ugh.
These disappointments are especially frustrating when they happen around, during, and/or because of my fitness routine. I have been faithfully getting to the gym 3-5 times a week for over a year now. I have lost a considerable amount of weight. I am no longer severely winded after a half hour or more of cardio. My body shape is changing - I'm building muscle where I never thought I could or would. I am healthier all around. And diabetes, on occasion, makes it challenging to stay that way.
There are days when low bloodsugars all afternoon make it impossible for me to fathom eating 500 extra calories just so that I can exercise. And there has been at least one day where a soaring afternoon bloodsugar, accompanied by an inexplicable and irritating moderate level of ketones, has found me banned from exercise that would only aggravate the already yucky situation and the upset stomach and guilt that accompany it.
It's just another bit that's so unfair about this thing. Another fly in the ointment.
Your health will improve with regular, moderate exercise, says the doctor... But.
But you'll have to learn to juggle even more handily than in your day to day life. You'll have to time a zero unit temp bolus so that its effect happens just in the right window. You'll have to run a bit high before exercise, and resist the urge to correct. You'll have to eat a little more than you normally might to avoid a disastrous dip.
You'll have to light the chainsaws you've already been juggling on fire, put on a blindfold, and tie your arms behind your back.
No big deal, right? You can handle it.
Right, I say. Strapping on my jesters hat, filling my water bottle and climbing aboard the summit trainer praying that I've got those roaring, flaming saws in just the right motion, hoping to avoid catastrophe.
