Diabetic Recipes
My daughter informed me that today was Hug A Diabetic Day. So, I hugged her. I don't get to do that very often any more. I'll take any opportunity I can get.
Olivia and I talked this morning about the not checking/not entering her blood sugars. Well, it was more like I talked and she sat there, rather sullen. I told her she had two choices - I could lock up the food and she could come to me every time she wanted to eat or she could take more responsibility and I would just check her meter and pump daily.
She didn't really answer me, but today she's been much more diligent about checking and logging.
She's also having a rash of lows and those freak her out. I explained to her this morning that it was really hard for me to make any changes if she wasn't checking and entering things properly. I don't want her being low, I want her in range and feeling good. But if I have no picture of what's going on, then it makes it that much more difficult. She nodded like she understood. I really hope she does because I'm really starting to get annoyed about this.
I've always been told that I shouldn't get mad about her diabetes, but I don't think this is getting mad about her diabetes, it's me getting mad about her not taking enough responsibility. It makes me worried about what else she may not be responsible about down the road, which is a whole other set of worries that I don't want to deal with right now.
I'm going to start taking away things if she has two no checks/no entries in a day. She'll lose the computer first, then the television, then the phone. I hope that makes it sink in - she is practically glued to the computer after school.
Someone suggested that I take her to see people who have been affected by not taking care of their diabetes. I don't know if I can do that, but I sure can look stuff up online and show her pictures and let her read articles if this doesn't improve.
This parenting stuff is exhausting. Throw in a couple of intractable toddlers and I'm just about at the end of my rope.
Julia - I'm glad you had the conversation - and that O seemed responsive. I've told you before, but I simply can't imagine being in your shoes. Living with this thing inside of you is one thing; having to care for someone with this thing inside is a whole other ball of wax. I admire you for all you do for O and for your other girls.
Might I suggest that showing O photos/stories about people who've lost feet, etc. because of poor control isn't the best idea... When you're a kid you can see all the photos of amputated feet and gangrene and blindness in the world - and still believe (wholeheartedly) that can't happen to me/that won't happen to me. It's easy to separate yourself from it when you're a teen - that whole "invincibility thing" is in full-force. What about the opposite tact? What about having O spend some time - real, face to face, one on one time - with Kerri or with me or with another adult who's living well and healthy - but who knows what a pain in the ass it is to have to heft this thing around with you all day?
My mother showed me photos of people with diabetes complications many times when I was a teenager - and in my early twenties - when I was going days without insulin, not ever testing, and generally doing anything I could to put diabetes in a corner where I couldn't see it - and it couldn't see me. I never quite made the associations my mother was hoping for. Though I feared things like losing my eyesight - I don't think I actually made the connection between my behaviors and the complications - I thought of it more as a "duration" thing - the longer I have this the more likley for me to get complications... The older I get - the more likely I am to get complications. And really, at thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, even twenty one - how often do we picture ourselves old (even healthy old)? Does that makes sense?
Anyhow - let me know if I can be of help in any way.
:) - Nicole
I also admire you! I can't imagine having to help someone grow up with the disease and implant the gravity of the situation in their minds, no matter how young/old. I would humbly suggest that having her view the complications might not be the best approach as children (even into their 20's) can feel invincible and feel that it won't happen to them. Another approach might be to take the focus off the diabetes and put it on maturity/priveledges. Because she has to deal with this disease, it is no doubt causing her to grow up more quickly; however, emphasising the maturity level she will exhibit if she does what is necessary might help. Positively rewarding her when this is done might also be of assistance. Hope this helped.
Does Olivia ever read your postings? Have you ever thought of asking her to do a question and answer on the blog? Have her do an entry.
Perhaps you could suggest to Olivia that she goes on diabetesteentalk.com, or another diabetes forum. Being a teenager with diabetes myself, it forums like that definitely help. (You might have already done this, in which case please ignore me. [:)