Betty Sue

The first time I knew “it” was in ninth grade. My class had to lead a chapel session at my private school. I was in charge of reading a passage of scriptures and leading music with some of the other kids. It was the first chapel my class had done. We’d be in front of a hundred of our peers and a dozen of our teachers.

Needless to say, I was nervous. Scared out of my mind, butterflies in my stomach, heart racing kind of nervous. The kind of nervous that leaves you completely speechless, where your mind suddenly stops and you keep thinking to yourself that you MUST be dreaming. Or you’re dead.

About ten minutes before the chapel was to start, I suddenly felt so weak. I noticed a slight change in the butterflies in my stomach, those butterflies felt low. So I had my friend walk me to the office where all my diabetic goodies were kept. The minute I stepped into the room, I sank. I knew that if I tried to step any further, I was going to faint. So I just plopped to the ground (of course, everyone freaked out because they thought I actually did faint!).

Sure enough, my blood sugar was horrendously low. And that’s when I knew it. Nervousness apparently made me low. I’d never experienced this before, maybe I hadn’t been nervous enough or nervous at the right time (right before lunch and hours after eating breakfast). But from that point on, I knew that I could never be nervous and just have normal butterflies. The butterflies would always be a symbol of something else.  

I’m not in many situations where I experience this kind of nervousness. I’m decent at public speaking when it’s necessary. I don’t perform in front of an audience anymore (I’d rather hide behind this computer screen). Yet there are occasions where I get out of whack nervous.   First dates for example. Or the first time you see a long lost crush after months of absence. Job interviews. Extremely scary movies (I’m a fan of horror flicks so it has to be the right one). And many more.  

 So now, I adjust for my nervousness. With the pump, it’s so easy to “plan” to be nervous. I simply cut down my basal, drink a juice right before I leave the house, and lower my bolus total (if I’m eating). Sometimes my nervousness gets the best of me and I end up low still. It’s hard to judge exactly how nervous you’ll be! But overall, adjusting for emotions is part of diabetes life. I wonder what emotion will pop up next that will throw me into a diabetic whirlwind?