Think Hank Azaria. Not Hank from Mad About You. Hank as a gay latino in Birdcage. You have that image, right? Can you hear his voice? Oh, man is he a riot. And as long as he’s not acting like a gay latino, he’s quite the looker, too.

Anyway! I met Hank this morning at a Walgreens in downtown Phoenix. Well, not really, but the cashier could definitely do well in an impersonation show.

“Good evening,” he said.

“Good morning,” I said, remembering that the sign outside advertised the Walgreens was open 24 hours.

“You off to work,” he asked.

“Yeah,” I chuckled. “Could you tell by the caffeine?”

“And all the sugar,” he said referring to my M&Ms and orange slices. “Tsk. Somebody’s going to catch diabetes.”

Seriously? I almost said something about not “catching” diabetes and almost said something about already having it, but decided my argument would be lost on the Hank look-a-like. I had really only come in because I left my box of tissues at home and had about 20 minutes to kill before I had to be in the office. And I was in almost desperate need of some chocolate (naturally).

“You know,” he said looking around and getting a little quiet, “I think I’m going to catch it too because at night when I work in the candy aisle I buy so much candy.”

“Mmmm,” I mumbled, wondering if my pump was concealed by my shirt. I was so not in the mood for this. And just as quickly as the intellectual diabetes conversation started, it stopped, making way for an equally disturbing “discussion” about Hank’s pants cutting off the circulation in his legs and how “cute” my top was.

Welcome back to the big city, Michelle.