Yesterday, George talked about not caring. Burnout is something I think we all go through in all parts of our lives, but perhaps especially when it comes to diabetes.
I can't think of another chronic illness where the victim is in almost complete control. What I mean is that in theory, if a person with diabetes does everything "right" then everything should be OK. I'll even go out on a limb and say that people addicted to alcohol or drugs don't have as much control over their disease as people with diabetes are lead to believe they have.
High post-prandial numbers? It's your fault.
High A1C? It's your fault.
Meds not working? It's your fault.
Complications? It must be your fault.
In contrast--in-range post prandials, an A1C lower than 7 and 20 years complication free equal a high-five and "Great job!"
There is an immense amount of pressure put on people with diabetes to do right by ourselves that it's no wonder we crack sometimes. George, it's natural to sometimes say, "Screw it!". It's natural to want to have a different sense of normal...the kind of normal that doesn't include incessant carb counts and med dosing, the kind of normal that doesn't include sitting down to a meal and contemplating endless scenarios of how you'll feel if you eat XYZ. Or what might happen if you spontaneously decide to go for a walk, play a pick up game of football or even hide-and-go-seek with your kids.
Bearing the weight of always "being good," of educating people who make ignorant comments, of portraying an image of someone who is in control can be too much at times.
Diabetes is on my mind in some fashion nearly all the time. Anything you think about that much will wear even the best of us down. You have to allow yourself to take a break from uber goodness.




