Last week, while watching "Survivor" with my husband, I blurted out how upset I was that I'd never be able to be on the show.

"Why not?" he asked. "You know, because of my diabetes," I said.

He thought that was the funniest thing ever, and if you knew me well, you'd think that was funny too. At the time, though, I was serious. My diabetes was holding me back from being a contestant on "Survivor."

Hubby patted my on the shoulder and said, "You just keep telling yourself that, honey."

The truth is, he's right. It's not my diabetes that keeps me from being on the show, although I don't recall there ever being a diabetic Survivor, and please, correct me if I'm wrong. The fact of the matter is, I'm a wuss.

For starters, there are the creature comforts that I have come to enjoy. Things like a roof over my head, my Select Comfort Bed, 500-thread count sheets, and feather pillows. I would not make it one night camping, let alone having to make my own shelter.

Then there's the food issue. Yes, I can play the diabetes card here. I need to eat at regular intervals. But the truth is, I'm a picky eater, and there is no way you'd catch me eating raw fish unless it was carefully prepared by a Sushi master. I'm also pretty attached to using a utensils with my meal. And I can't even imagine what it must take to crack a coconut open.

And of course, I'm not too fond of bugs and other creatures, like snakes. My husband still laughs about the time we were hiking in Virgin Gorda and I screamed, "Snake!" and ran up the hill. And I don't run for anything!

I'm also not what you'd call hearty folk. I'm not sporty, I'm not strong, and frankly, I don't have the die-hard determination required for survival in the wild. I'd be begging to be voted off, probably the first night, and I'd probably hurt myself in the first challenge.

But, you know, if the game of "Survivor" was played in a shopping mall, I might have a chance. At the mall, I excel in navigation and hunting down sales. However, I lack the basic personality traits necessary to win at "Survivor," like people skills (at my last job review, my boss referred to me as "abbrasive") and the ability to lie straight faced.

Yeah, there are several reasons why I'd never make it on "Survivor" and as much as I'd like to blame it on diabetes, it definintely can't take the fall on this one.