Creep into the room quietly. Like a shadow.

Place testing supplies down gently beside the bed.

Don't stir the child. Avoid strong lighting. Use only enough to see what you're doing. I recommend a candelabra.

Tell the person playing the spooky pipe organ music to knock it off. It's not helping.

Gently pry his warm, sweaty fingers from underneath his pillow like they're bones guarded by a sleeping bulldog.

Inspect his fingers like a bad poker hand and discard each one until you find one you can use.

Beware of runaway fingers. Though the child looks to be asleep, his fingers are often very much awake the moment you grasp them. The finger will try to scurry away like a crab and crawl under sheets or behind pillows. If it puts up a big struggle, let that finger go and give the child a moment to get comfortable again. You don't want a bloody runaway finger on the loose. Finger-painting the sheets could get messy.

If it's a thumb you're after, be prepared to ride it like a rodeo bull. Hang on to it though. The thumb will eventually get tired, allowing you steal a drop of blood from its side.

Wait five seconds for the blood sugar result and then howl and curse fiendishly. If a trashcan is nearby, kick it.

Repeat steps every few hours throughout the night.

By morning, you will truly look like the undead.