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You've probably heard the phrase "seagull manager." A boss who comes in, craps all over the place, makes a big mess and then leaves. A recent blog post of mine seems to have brought in a seagull commenter. And, frankly, I'm quite angry about it.
The commenter accused me of being "selfish and neglectful and not a very good mother." That his/her "...biggest problem is that you complain about what an inconvenience it is for YOU." That I am "uninterested in Olivia's health." And finally, that I "didn't feel like being a mother."
I will freely admit that I composed several very nasty responses to this comment. They were born out of anger and hurt and I have learned the hard way that that is not the way to handle things.
So here is what I will say. I am a good mother. I take care of all of my children. If the commenter had read any of my other posts, he/she would get a glimpse into my life and would see the concern I have for my kids. I'm guessing, however, that this commenter hasn't ever read anything I've written, either here or on my personal blog.
No where in any of the posts I've made about the logging issues I have have I said it was an inconvenience. I have said that I forget, I have said that I feel guilty, I have said that I would love advice and 99% of the time, that advice is given. It's given pleasantly, even when people are chiding me. I do not mind being chided. I don't even mind having my butt kicked once in a while.
What I DO mind, however, are baseless accusations. Accusations of neglect and, basically, abuse. Accusations that I don't want to be a mother. I don't know where this commenter gets off saying things like that, but I hope that he/she has led a perfect, blemish-free life, if that's the kind of accusations that are routinely hurled.
dLife is a place for support. It's a place where I go to post about my child's life, and our life, with diabetes. I post to seek advice, I post to discuss treatment options, to talk about other issues that may affect Olivia's blood sugars. There have been many times that people have made suggestions to me and I have always taken them on board. Some haven't worked, some have. I'm always appreciative of them, no matter what.
But to have someone basically walk into my house and scream at me and then walk out, well, I liken that to a seagull. Don't come in here and crap all over me from the anonymous safety of the internet, especially when you don't know a thing about me except for one blog post. Even if there had been some good suggestions, I wouldn't have listened because of the screaming.
I've had 28 comments on this post - it's the most I've ever had here at dLife. And most of those comments were lovely and I really appreciate all of them. So, thank you.
The seagulls can take their squawking somewhere else. I never liked those birds all that much anyway.
Wow. You really got beat up on that post by THE most judgemental people.
You handled it a lot better than I would've. You didn't deserve any of that AT ALL!!!!!! Those people should be ashamed of themselves for being so self righteous. I doubt their so perfect. In fact, I know they're not based on what they wrote.
Julia,
I know what an AWESOME mom you are to Julia. Sorry about the Seagull commenter. Keep up the good work with all your kids. Hey, I actually accidentally did a fill tubing with my pump site connected. I got a 30 unit bolus. Does this make me a horrible diabetic?
What jerks. Ignore them. At least you've found a way to vent constructively, my poor mom would have loved the opportunity to talk to someone about my ups and downs at Olivia's age.
Seagulls are mean, nasty birds ):-P
Hi Julia,
Just last night while talking with my husband, I bragged about the d-bloggers and commenting. I’d been reading another blog (not d) and the comments were so rude, so critical and just not nice.
Last night I explained to my husband (who doesn’t read blogs) about the kindness of so many of the d-bloggers. We are all different. We have many ways of dealing with diabetes. The parents are especially amazing, each and every one admits their fears and yet, they are always happy to offer encouragement and friendship to other parents.
I posted a few weeks ago about my appreciation for feeling welcome even though I’m still pretty new at dealing with diabetes.
Today I read your note at dLife and was appalled after going to your post to read the comments.
When I read Nicole’s and the rest of your friends’ statements I wanted to stand up and cheer.
As I grew up, we were taught, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.â€
Julia, you’re a super mom!
Colleen
ditto here what I said in my comment on your 'other' post.
This disease is hard enough to handle as an adult. I can't imagine the struggle it is to handle it with a teenage girl. You hang in there Mama....don't let'um get to you! You are awesome!
BTW, my little 8 year old is blind, has epilepsy, cannot walk, talk, sit up , eat or anything else, so I've heard the rude Mama comments for 8 years too.....
For someone to be so cruel, I can only imagine they have empty, miserable lives. There's just no other explanation. You handled it with much civility. Ever the role model for kids, I'd probably resort to violence straight away.
I just came back from my doctors office and it seemed like it took foever. Does anyone else run into that proble? Does anyone know how many patients an Endo or DE sees everyday?
Wow. Open mouth. Insert foot. Julia, I posted an apology under your comment on that blog. Let me say again how TRULY sorry I am. Having this disease and having a son with this disease, I should know better and not be such a judgmental idiot. I commend you for the tasks you juggle everyday and hope you'll file my ramblings under "Temporary Stupidity." This disease is hard enough to manage without self-righteous finger-pointing and unfounded accusations. To all those I offended, please accept my sincere apology in the hopes that I can be a positive contributor in the future and learn something myself. You're all in my prayers. Be happy and healthy.
Thank you. :)
i just want to say it is hard enough to take care of yourself if you are a diabetic. one of my worst fears is that my children will get this and i will have to do all of this for them.before anyone takes me wrong i would not mind doing the testing and shots and stuff but i would hate for my child to go through it. for all the mom's who manage their child's diabetes i have nothen but respect for you. and i also feel that if you make a mistake [as scary as it is] it doesnt mean that your a bad mom or dont care about your child.i get upset with people who judge me on how i handle my disease who dont have diabetes. so i can imagine that all you mom's of children with diabetes feel the same about people who judge you. i wish luck with dealing with all that you have to deal with..