www.80stees.com

So Valentine's Day came and went. You may have heard. Maybe you saw the musical balloons the size of inflatable boats dangling from the supermarket checkout lanes that played "Truly" by Lionel Richie when you lightly tapped them.

My belated apologies to the Genuardi's store manager if you're reading this. It was me. I was the guy who sprinted angrily from balloon to balloon - punching each one and setting off the simultaneous symphony of Lionel Richie before running out of the store screaming "F love!"

In retrospect, maybe I was just mad that they were all out of "I love you even though you're diabetic" cards.

Truth be told, I do have a fascination with buttons, cards and books that make sounds or music. When we split up in Borders or Barnes & Noble, my wife always knows where to find me - planted in the children's section pressing the button on the book that makes the squish-squish-squish sound of Pooh taking honey from the jar. She once had to have me paged over the loudspeaker at a Toys 'R' Us when I was knee-deep in the beeping cars of Noisy Town. True story.

I did actually tap four balloons in Genuardi's (amidst very dirty looks) before I accepted the fact that they all played the same song: "Truly" by Lionel Richie.

I cheesy cornballed it real bad this year. Being that Susanne already has a handful of autoimmune diseases such as celiac, hypothyroidism and psoriasis, I thought it would only be fitting for her to receive a priority mail box labeled "urgent" delivered to her from a "research laboratory." Inside was a letter that informed her of recent medical tests that showed her condition worsening. Reading further, the letter explains that she was suffering from a serious condition of being way too hot. Her hotness levels were off the charts, the letter went on to say. The box contained pill containers with little chocolates and other Valentine's-type crap, proving that my dorkiness was also off the charts.

I swear I had a point.

Ah, right.

My point is that I would hate to be my friend on Valentine's Day.

It can't be easy to get it right. On one hand, I'm pleased with our one friends because they had the common sense to know that Charlie can have a lollypop attached to his Valentine's Day card and not an alfalfa sprout. But on the other hand, I'm cursing others who had the nerve to give sugary Fun Dips and Pixy Stix to a child with diabetes.

So, to all my friends and acquaintances out there - please give Charlie candy, but at the same time don't. Good luck with that.

Because I'm truly
Truly in love with my diabetic son
I'm truly
head over heels with his love