Diabetic Recipes
s0ulsurfing
Every day, I live my life with diabetes the same way. I test my blood sugar, I treat lows and I change infusion sets. It is a part of me. Sometimes, it is all of me. I get frustrated on a regular basis with the highs and lows or the way it interrupts my entire life from school to dating to sleep.
It amazes me though when I look back on all those days. It makes me smile. As frustrated as I get and all the tears I cry, I don't remember diabetes as my past. Surely, it's there. I just don't remember the daily parts of the disease.
I think of my first date and the first time I felt the panic of "what if he thinks I'm weird?" (because of my clothes or my car or my diabetes). I remember going for ice cream, but I don't remember doing any insulin (of course, I did it but where'd that moment go?). I think of my high school graduation party. I can remember what I wore, the crazy conversations and the flying Benihana's knives. I don't remember checking my blood sugar or bolusing for my teriyaki. I think of college football games. I remember shouting, tailgating and running through the rain. I don't remember the lows I'm sure I had, the insulin or the constant blood sugar checks in the hot Texas sun.
There are things about my diabetes that I do remember: the hours after seizures, collapsing in the grocery store, nights of unexplained lows. I remember going to doctors appointments, telling my first love about it all and hassling with my school to let me carry my insulin on campus.
The bottom line of all this: no matter how frustrated I get with the daily diabetes life, in the end it's forgotten. Of course, I'll remember the big things like seizures, my first days on the pump and the day I'm cured. Yet through it all, I'll keep reminding myself that I'm not going to remember the daily hassles. So why stress now?
I was just diagnosed with type2 diabetes last April. I am still trying to learn all I can. At first I told myself I didn't have diabetes and that it was something I could control. Well I soon found out that I couldn't do that. I'm currently taking oral medication along with Lantus Insulin. There are still times that my blood sugar is above my levels and I don't know why. Is it something I am doing or is it the diabetes? Please help.
I was thinking the same thing the other day. I don't remember testing or giving insulin when I look back at all the things I have done(playing, working, having a general good time in University) but I know I must have tested and bolused accordingly. What you wrote really hit home, especially when I feel particulary overwhelmed by the day to day stuff. Good to remember that looking back the day to day diabetes management (and frustrations)are not what I will remember, but it is what will ensure that I can continue to live and enjoy my life. Nice post!
twiddy- I'm glad you realized that diabetes cannot be ignored. You can control it, even tho it's really hard sometimes! I can't tell you why your levels are above. I think we all struggle with it, but we all have different reasons. Talk to your doctor about it, watch what you eat to see if that's a factor. I know that's my biggest problem is fatty foods or protein making my levels high later in the day. You'll figure it out! You're still new in the game!
constant- It is so remarkable to realize that as much horrible as this can be on a daily basis, it does all pay off and we won't remember. I'm glad I'm not the only one who seems to have forgotten these things (I was kinda worried for a few seconds!)