Diabetic Recipes
Last week was a tough one for me. I was starting to feel really depressed. I know it comes with the D-territory but I cannot stand to feel that way for long. All the comments I received were huge and helped a lot. Luckily, I had a really fantastic weekend that lifted my spirits too and moved me out of the depressed zone I was in.
But something that I do not think has ever happened to me, happened last night. I had a diabetes nightmare and it really scared me.
I should preface this story by telling you a little about my time right before I went to bed. As I got ready for bed I was telling my wife how much my feet have been hurting. Neuropathy has attacked my feet and they tingle all the time. It always feels like my back to the abdomen for a while.
Anyhow, let me tell you about this nightmare.
In the dream I was on vacation with my wife and kids. We were in Laughlin and we were just checking into our hotel for a week long stay. A whole week of vacation sounded great and so we unpacked our stuff. I noticed that my feet were tingling a lot so I decided to check them out. I pulled off my socks and much to my surprise, my big toe on my right foot (the one that is tingling like mad as I type this) was completely black. Just like the posters in my doctor's office.
I remember looking at my toe and thinking, "that's it. Diabetes won." When my wife came in I told her that we had to get to the hospital so I could save my foot. She was upset but I remember that I was not angry as much as I was feeling defeated. It was as if diabetes was my enemy and it just took me out. It won the battle I have been fighting.
I woke up feeling horrible and had to immediately check out the toe. It is fine but still hurts a lot. Losing my feet is my biggest fear and the way my toe looked in the dream was terrifying. So vivid.
Please tell me about any Diabetes Nightmares you have had. I am sure that diabetes penetrates into our subconscious. Heck, its apart of all we do!
O.K. this is my first time bloging. I don't know if I am writing a brand new blog or answering the last one I read. Anyway. I have type 1 for one year now. I acutally had type 2 but blood tests now show I hardly produce any insulin now. I will try not to complain too much but I need to vent. I don't have anyone to talk to about how I feel. Oh, I have my hubby, he means well but he does not understand my sadness and depression. How can he understand when I don't. Isn't it enough that we have this disease, prick our fingers and administer 5 shots a day, watch everything we eat and the time we eat it? Do we have to be depressed and feel yucky lots of times? I resent the fact that I do the best I can. My doctor calls me a model patient. My blood glucose is still not in control. I really thought if I did everything right..the eating, exercise, testing and taking meds that I would get this under control and learn to live with it. I told myself there are worse things. I am angry with myself because I can't get above the moods sometimes. I know I am going on and on so I will give you all a few facts and then go. I am 62, not overweight, have always exercised. No one in my family has Diabetes and they do not know why I do. I feel like this disease has taken the joy out of my life since it affects so much of my life. Anyone know how I feel? Thanks.
I sure do know how you feel. The frustrating part about Diabetes is that no matter how much you do to stay in control, things can and will change. Just becuase you do everything right does not mean the results will be perfect.
I am glad you vented about your situation. I feel it is good to get those feelings and frustrations out.
You are not alone!
Thanks for your encouragement. I feel somewhat better today but BG's still high.
i belong to this research project and feel better knowing we might find a cure someday they have a message board and someone always answers back fast.... http://boinc.bakerlab.org/rosetta/
George, I've only had 1 nightmare about my diabetes and it ended with me waking up in the middle of a low (42) that scared the crap outa me. In the dream I had visited my brother and was getting ready to sit down to dinner when my right index finger fell off. I started losing parts like crazy till all i was was a body with a head. I cried and cried that my disease wasn't really supposed to be that bad. My brother picked up wat was left of me and burried it in his backyard. As they threw in the first spade of dirt, i woke up. I know fear and i know nightmares but dude, let me tell you, some of this crap really sux.
hey george,
that sounds like a scary dream, hard worries to deal with, and a sucky way to wake up. i hate waking up from hard dreams because then you are emotionally exhuasted before you even start the day!
i can't remember any diabetes-specific nightmares i've had, but i did recently have a diabetes dream that was bad but not a nightmare, and a nightmare that was bad and i think partially caused by a low, but not about diabetes.
A couple days ago I dreamed that I had my A1c done and it was 8.9, which is higher than my last one but I bet when Im pretty sure that when get it done next week it will be higher than that, over 9 defintiely.
Last week I also had a nightmare that one of my best friends committed suicide. When I woke up I was 51, so I think the low partly brought on the weird/freaked out thinking. E