I have had some major hurdles in my life and recently have been jumping over them one by one. Not with ease or speed but with planning, determination, and most of all accountability.

The hurdle I have now is weight loss. I have been fat all of my life (except right before I was diagnosed) and now it is time to shed those pounds. I joined weight watchers a while ago which I know I have mentioned here but I was just recently away for three weeks due to three things. One weigh in I skipped because I was just tired and slept in, another when I was sick, and the last was when we went out of town.

This last weekend I finally went back to weigh in for the first time in 2008. It was not pretty. I had gained 7 pounds in 3 weeks! I knew I had gained so it was not a total shock but there is a part of me that hopes for some sort of gravitational miracle as soon as I step on the scale. That did not happen of course.

Knowing all week that I was not going to weigh in allowed me to say, "I'll eat whatever I want tonight and will work on it tomorrow." It's a terrible attitude but my brain went their everyday of those three weeks. It tells me that I need the accountability. I need the weekly weigh in's because it has not become a habit yet. I have to remember that this cannot be a diet. It has to be a way of life.

I find it funny that we can put the rest of our bodies in jeopardy to please such a small portion of it. Our taste buds send signals to our brain that the food we are eating is yummy but the rest of the body suffers when that food is not healthy. I cannot imagine a world where I only think of food as fuel but moderation and wise choices are not a part of my lifestyle just yet unless I am counting points each week.

Am I alone in having these issues? I wonder if I am going to be at Weight Watchers meetings for the rest of my life.