Yesterday I was crankier than usual. A lot crankier than usual. I mean, I was the poster child for "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed." At one point The Mr. looked at me and asked how I was doing.

"Eh, I'm aggravated," I said, eating something sweet.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I've been like this all day."

It's hard to know if I'm just having an off day or if something diabetes related is making me cranky. Used to be that being high made me cranky--especially around my kids. But not too long ago I learned that I can get awfully cranky when I'm low, too. That was a kick in the head!

Self management means so many different things. There are so many factors and variables to consider with diabetes. Since I was cranky, I immediately blamed myself and assumed I was high. But blood sugar check upon blood sugar checked revealed mostly normal numbers. I wasn't high nor low.

It's difficult not to blame the disease as a first resort. I can't tell you how many times I've said, "Is it diabetes related?" after a doctor gives me a diagnosis. (I had a large-cell tumor in August 2006 in my thumb and the first thing I said when the doctor handed down the diagnosis was, you guessed it, "Is it diabetes related?")

I spent most of the day yesterday blaming diabetes for my stress level. It wasn't until I sat down and gave myself a break that I realized I was stressed about something completely different. I know the stress of thinking diabetes was why I was high in addition to the stress about the thing I was actually stressed about was making my numbers even worse. Which made me even crankier. Do you see the nasty cycle I was in yesterday?