Life is full of simple pleasures.
Today I slept in until 12. I made some coffee. I drank about 4 cups. I had a nice little breakfast. I turned on the tv and actually caught a decent movie. The movie was, "The Broken Trail" with Robert Duval. It was about some good ol' cowboys taking some horses about 800 miles or so through some beautiful country in Wyoming. The movie really hit home with me this morning. I love to be outside. I love that I am country guy and that I am in my element when I am out in the wilderness. I love a good fire and a good meal. Sometimes I am happiest with just a cup of coffee and maybe a smoke if I feel like it.
Bottom line is today I was depressed.
I had a nice breakfast, watched that great movie, drank my coffee, and then tested my sugar.
My sugar was 257 and after all that great stuff I see that number on my blood meter. My first reaction was to just lose it. For a split second, I considered just flipping my lid and going crazy. I instantly felt the reality sink in. Today I was losing the battle with diabetes .
But I didn't go crazy or flip my lid like I felt I wanted too.
Instead, I took an insulin shot to bring my sugar down. I poured another cup of coffee and I went and grabbed a smoke. I stepped outside on our patio and puffed away to calm my nerves. I don't even smoke. I just felt it was what I needed.
And then another reality sank in as I sat there on this 30 degree day. The clouds were gray. The wind was blowing cold and unforgiving.
It doesn't matter. None of this stuff does. You just gotta do what you gotta do. A person needs to be honest with themselves and do what feels right. Today, for me, it was sitting out back on the deck, smoking a nasty cigarette, drinking a cup of coffee and thinking to myself, "It's alright man". "Everything is going to be just fine".
And then a tear came down my face and a smile emerged. I walked back inside and I was ready to start over for the day. I really am thankful for my life and the people that are in it. It doesn't matter. I'm a winner. I'm not going to let some number on a meter dictate my happiness. None of us should.
Thank you for reading. -Andy.
