To say June was a tough month for us financially is a huge understatement. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say, I found myself getting very creative with how to pay bills and continue to eat and get my meds. Oh, and pay for daycare so I could go to work.

Along the way, because we were living at the bottom of a pit, our life insurance policies lapsed. Naturally, the company sent us a letter, but I was avoiding all envelopes that I didn't believe had money in them. So I overlooked the notice. Furthermore, our insurance agent couldn't get to us until October to fix the problem. So we didn't know until about a month ago that we had been living without life insurance for several months.

Things had changed since we took the policies out six years ago. We had two more kids. I lost some weight. And I was diagnosed with diabetes. I knew diabetes might be a factor if we had to take out new policies. I decided, though, not to say anything up front-which is out of character for me.

We sat with our agent, Jeff, at the dining room table. We sorted out what we thought happened and talked about how we weren't the only ones with lapsed policies. That, oddly, made me feel a little better. We had a couple options: resubmit the policies with the back premiums paid up front, or start from the beginning. The back premiums for The Mr.'s policy were upwards of $300. That just wasn't possible for us. Back premiums for mine, however, were just over $100. Being a salesman, Jeff suggested that since money was an issue, that we start over. I knew, though, that meant getting a look at my medical records again.

"Well," I said rather slowly. "There's something you should know first. I have diabetes now."

Jeff looked at me with the kind of pity I don't think I've ever seen from someone who I had just come out to. His shoulders slumped a little, though I don't think it was intentional, and he covered his mouth like he was watching a car wreck.

"Oh," was all he could muster.

I didn't let it get to me, but I did have trouble figuring out if he was uncomfortable with the fact that someone he knew had a chronic illness (surely I'm not the only one) or that he knew I was literally uninsurable.