I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell Sarge to hit the bricks. ((Insert big sigh here.))

I had very good intentions to do so. Monday morning when I got downstairs I let Sarge out of his crate so he could go outside while I ate breakfast. He was remarkably calm and didn't jump on me like he usually does. I briefly reconsidered walking with him. And then he jumped on the front door making an awful slam that shook the whole house while I was trying to close it quietly so as not to wake up everyone. That's when I changed my mind again. And then, while I was watching the local news and gingerly eating my yogurt, Sarge started whining, which he rarely does prior to our walk.

It was almost as if he knew I was thinking about leaving him behind. I also realized that he knew I was getting ready to go for a walk and that if I brought him back inside and put him in his crate (so he wouldn't jump the fence and follow me) he would whine and bark and paw at the crate enough to surely wake the house nearly an hour before they needed to get up.

So I relented. It wound up being a decent walk.

You see, I've realized that there are parts of my diabetes management-positive and negative-that are staples. Everyone has these parts of our lives and our diabetes care that are just part of who we are, part of how we choose to control our lives and our disease. And often these are things that come with an "I don't know" answer when loved ones give us that look and ask "Um, exactly what are you doing?"

There are just some things that, well, that's just the way it is. I know I shouldn't drink so much soda, for example, but it often keeps me from eating high-carb sweets. Milk is something I simply have to have in my diet, even though it means adding at least a unit or two of insulin to whatever meal bolus I'm already giving. Sarge is going to be part of my walk even though it means I get annoyed and often get sore muscles from yanking on the leash.

Even more, though, it's possible I may learn something along the way that has nothing to do with diabetes. Patience. Or, maybe it has everything to do with diabetes.