I was in my truck today picking up some fast food from Mickey D's. I typically don't eat fast food. Actually, I never do- but today I was in a hurry and I just wanted to get something fast and not have to put to much thought into it. As I was ordering, I realized that with diabetes there is no such thing as just a "quick little meal". Any time I eat something, I have to put some serious thought and effort into it. Everyday, I put serious energy and brain power towards calculating things in my head.

My life revolves around eating and calculating.

This type of living is REALLY TIRING. I can't even pick up a tootsie roll without racking my brain with thoughts of, "Where is my sugar now?" and "What will this make my sugar do?", and "What I am going to be doing over the next couple hours?" So, in the drive thru I was looking up at the picture of the #3 combo meal- quarter-pounder with fries and a soda- the thoughts immediately starting pouring in. "Ok, so its 12 o'clock right now and I ate about 3 hours ago. My sugar should be good. The #3 meal should add up to around 60 carbs or so. And since I take one unit of insulin for every 15 carbs, then I will take about four units. BUT, I know that I am getting ready to do some physical work and that will take me down quickly, so I will only take about three units or so. And the thoughts kept piling on until I finally just ate my burger and fries, drank my soda, and said, "to heck with it". "I'll try this out and see how it goes".

Well, 2 hours later, after working a little bit, I tested and the meter read 257!!! "I GIVE UP!" I thought. "This is bull-crap". I get so fed up with not even being able to eat a darn cheeseburger and fries without doing difficult calculations which often times are incorrect! Today was one of those "I don't give a darn" days. I am not going to care about my diabetes today or deal with a day full of worrying about this stuff. "To heck with it". I get so freaking mad at having this darn disease. I can't think about it right now. I need to have a better day tomorrow.