I'm in the middle of changing several habits and it's frustrating trying to keep up. Especially when I'm still acclimating to my job and trying to find some peace in a very insane world. I think this past weekend with my mom really helped me sort through some things in my life though which has me feeling like I can do this.

One major change that I'm trying to do is to manage my money a little tighter. After taking the new job, my income suddenly got a lot higher. So I started spending higher and that didn't sit well with the saver in me. In efforts to save more for a house and truly assess whether I can afford the extra expense that owning my own home brings, I'm living on cash for the next month or two. I'm cleaning house in the money department, living with as little as possible while still maintaining a lifestyle that I want. So far, it's working fine but I haven't been to Target in a few days (Target being my arch nemesis for saving money).

Another change is to really focus on losing weight. I've been back in yoga for awhile now and I'm not noticing any difference. The scale reads the same. My clothes fit the same. Obviously, I need to do something different. So I'm attempting to eat at home more (which also goes with the money thing) so that I'm eating healthier as well as setting an exercise goal of yoga twice a week and running twice a week. I lost 20 pounds in 2009 by exercising about 2 hours per day, five days per week. I don't have the energy for that now, but maybe I can lose the weight a little slower by focusing on 4 days of exercise at an hour each.

So it's my goal to get myself to yoga Monday and Wednesday evenings after work and run/walk Saturdays and Sundays. That gives me Tuesday and Thursday to rest, have ample time with Marvin, and catch up on everything else in my life. I hate having to devote myself so relentlessly to exercise, but I know I can't get back to my goal weight without it. Food choices are not making a difference. And the insulin, birth control, and other health issues are just making the scale shoot up instead of balance out.

The other habit that I haven't started yet, but really need to focus on is getting my blood sugars back in control. My daily average is lower than it has been (thanks to some lows that I really can't explain) in the 193 range for 90 days, 174 for 30 days, and 145 for 7 days. I'm interested to see what my A1c comes back as at my endo appointment on Monday. I'm not checking my blood sugar as often as I'd like though (6-8 times per day) and I need to change that as well as change my analysis of those numbers.

I think the best way for me to get back in the habit of checking my blood sugar more is to hook up to the Dexcom CGMS for a week or two. I haven't ordered sensors in awhile though so the ones I do have are expired (by the way, anyone know if the expiration date holds or can you get accurate readings after?). I'll have to set up my new insurance with them as well and I'm not sure how that will go since I've never used the CGMS on this one.

The Dexcom will also help me catch the lows that I've been having before they start and maybe I can avoid consuming so many extra calories that way. I'd love to hook up to the pump as well, but I just can't handle having it attached 24/7, the chaos of basal rates, and the invariability of my blood sugars overall. For now, I need to focus on these 3 areas before I add anything else (including the Metformin which I've been off for over a month now and debate about returning to).