I absolutely love my new job. It is amazing, awesome, and perfect for me. I'm getting to lead amazing people, I'm working on social issues that desperately need the help, and I have a great group of coworkers that have been extremely supportive through the training process. Everything in my life has come together at this point. There isn't anything I could ask for.
Except that the last week has left me feeling unwhole and in emotional stress. For no apparent reason. There is nothing that I should be terribly upset about, nothing that should leave me feeling in a trench. Nothing major should have me teary eyed and emotionally unsure about life.
Yet here I am. It's not that severe. It's just a small feeling that I can't seem to shake. Something that's kind of tugging at me, trying to pull me deeper in. Something that isn't sitting well with me and I really want to push beyond.
I love my job. I'm financially stable. I have an awesome apartment. I have a great car that I'm paying for myself. I'm back in yoga. The weather is slowly getting cooler (96 today, yay!). My mom and I are planning a weekend spa trip for October. My baby cousin is getting married later this year. Good things are happening.
But for some reason, I am grumpy. I am irritable with Marvin. I am feeling more like staying at home rather than going out anywhere. I am not liking the way that I'm feeling.
I went ahead and set up a new therapy appointment for next week. I haven't been in therapy for awhile and I'm interested to see what this therapist is like. I'm hopeful that maybe just an extra set of ears listening in on my life will help me get through whatever feeling is stirring around inside me.
I'm not depressed. My emotions are not that severe. It's just a gentle tugging, but I do know that I don't want to feel this way and I shouldn't be feeling this way. Sometimes I just wonder if my blood sugars (which the averages have dropped on in the last 2-3 weeks) play into my moods more than I imagine. I wonder if my hormones are doing something funky that I can't see or feel other than the dip in mood. I wonder if genetics have me feeling slumpy rather than happy all the time.
Do any of you feel this way sometimes? Not quite enough to warrant medication or treatment, but enough to have you thinking things are off in your life. What have you tried to overcome the slump? I'm not sure I have time for much else in my life considering I work quite a bit, I'm going to yoga 2 or 3 times a week, and Marvin and I spend quite a bit of time together.
The one thing I would love to see in my life right now is to develop some other lasting relationships. Perhaps another perspective, laughter, and distraction would help me. Now, how do I go about finding that?
