It's been a bit hectic this past week trying to get things in order before I start the new job tomorrow. I got my second laser resurfacing done on my face, I've been shopping for new clothes, and I've been trying to catch up on rest, cleaning, and general nonsense before entering adulthood once again.

I'm very excited to embark on this adventure. I feel assured that God is leading me to great places and CASA is the place that I'm going to feel like I'm not only empacting peoples' lives but I'm also being empacted by others. I am so ready to feel responsible for things again, to feel like I'm on top of things, and to feel like my life has value in the workforce.

All other aspects of my life right now seem to be on hold. I am still recovering from the laser resurfacing. It was definitely more painful and a longer recovery for this second one than the first. Five days later and I'm still seeing redness, some swelling, and a lot of rough patches. I'm hopeful that Monday will bring better results that will only improve over time. I didn't begin to see any results from the last one until five weeks after the treatment so I expect the same from this one.

I feel like things are going in slow motion until I get settled into the new job. I know that it's going to bring a lot of changes. Not only the obvious ones like more money, less free time, and a new sleep schedule, but also a change in my personality and moods as I switch into what I hope is my dream career. I'm hopeful that the new job will bring a little balance to the rest of my life because I'm desperately tired of feeling unsure.

These past months have brought a lot of hardship on my health, my relationships, and my general well being. I'm ready for those pains and frustrations to drift away and to welcome a new purpose into my life. I know that my career and my focus heavily weighs on the other aspects of my life. I am not truly whole without a larger purpose to thrive on, which has impacted Marvin and I as well as friendships in the recent past.

Marvin and I are both struggling to find a balance in our relationship where we both feel comfortable, content, and uplifted. As always, we're working towards bettering ourselves and our relationship despite the struggles that life enjoys throwing our way. He is, again as always, an amazing rock to me. He brings me flowers when I'm sick, listens to me complain, and makes me laugh despite the worst of times. I am so appreciative for him getting me through this past year.

I am also very appreciative for my closest friends who have listened to my ramblings, offered ideas on how to move forward in my life, and never left my side despite the drama. These friends and this support group is the only way that I've stayed on top of things and not fallen prey to the lows in my life. These people are those that listen and learn about my diabetes, live it everyday, or don't say a word about my health. No matter the situation, they are the strength that I've needed and will continue to need.

So my closet is full, my bank account is not. My heart is heavy, yet hopeful. My body is tired but excited. My whole life is changing and I'm trying to not only keep up but move it along. I am so ready for the next steps and the next chapters that this life has to offer me. I am so excited to see what it holds and cannot wait for it to be here. Even if I am enjoying the present.