The last time I saw an endocrinologist was before I moved cities. That was back in September when my A1c was starting to get rocky again, sitting at 8.3%. At that point, I assumed my life would settle down, I'd get a steady schedule and a job, and my blood sugars would fall back in line.

That didn't exactly happen considering that life seems to throw me curve balls every time I think I'm getting back on track. So in January, my new primary care physician ran all my usual lab tests and referred me on to an endo (that I subsequently did not see). My A1c was 8.5% at that time and my protein was low although everything else came back fine.

Tomorrow, I have my first appointment with my new endo and I have to say that I'm beginning to get a little nervous about how she might be and what she might say. I know that my blood sugars aren't where they should be. I know that I need to get back into better habits (checking more, keeping up with exercise, and staying on the Metformin). I understand the risks of elevated numbers.

So I'm hoping that the appointment goes well. I'm hoping she is understanding and doesn't lay the guilt trip on me. I'm also hoping she is insightful and can help with some new ways to accomplish what I'm trying to get done. I can't add more stress of a pushy, guilt-inducing, insensitive doctor. I pray she isn't any of those things.

I did start back on the Metformin at 250 mg this morning. I've already noticed better numbers (and hopefully I'll notice clearer skin and weight loss soon too). I'm keeping up with my exercise plan as well, which I know is making a difference even if I don't see it at the moment. I'm also trying to be conscious of increasing my insulin at breakfast since that's usually my toughest meal.

I have an agenda for my appointment tomorrow. I've prepared 6 weeks of blood sugars with as much insulin and exercise information as possible (although some of that is really lacking). I also need to get all new prescriptions for my new mail order pharmacy as well as an order for my Dexcom sensors.

I also plan to ask about three major things on my mind. First, I'd like more tests run or some brainstorming on my low protein levels that occurred in January. I'm concerned that it may be celiac or something similar so I'd like tests run for that as I've never had them done before. Along with that, I want to discuss the fatigue that I battle and how that might be resolved. Second, I'm going to mention the possibility of temporarily going on an anti-depressant (Wellbutrin is my drug of choice after a lot of research) while I get through this tough phase in my life. I'm not 100% okay that yet, but I want to know her opinion. Third, I may ask to switch to Levemir from Lantus to see if that helps with anything.

Overall, I just hope that the appointment goes smoothly and I feel heard and understood. I also hope plenty of lab tests are run as well as history gathered. I'd love to build a strong relationship with this endo that will get me through the next years and into marriage, pregnancy, and beyond.