I think he's just about had enough.

If I went through what he goes through, I suppose I would too.

Two days of low ketones that wouldn't go away no matter how hard we prayed for mercy. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Two days home from school. Maybe a third tomorrow. High blood sugars and ketones that proved to be an omen for one hell of a nasty cold.

He's had enough of the long, sharp needles in his ass and the tiny sharp needles in his fingers. Our constant handling of his pump like he's some sort of appliance. Out of defiance yesterday, he wouldn't let me near his pump because he couldn't eat what he wanted to eat. He took a stand against the injustice.

He's had enough of the food requests that get rejected; the waiting like a dog while we count and weigh his food; the grabbing of his fingers in the middle of the night; the brightness of the lamp at 2 am. He's had enough of my ill-timed silliness. My dopey sensor inquiries - "Hey Charlie, what does Pumpy Pumpington say?" A sigh. A roll of the eyes when we ask him to test himself before a snack. It's all wearing on him. He's had enough.

You can see it in his eyes at times. He's fed up with how this disease is affecting his life as a 9 year old. He's pissed off and beginning to lash out. There's a new anger; moodiness; a definite dark side that has taken over. 

During site changes and sensor insertions, he screams louder than he ever has before, in a pitch that will seemingly break the windows.  It makes the moment more difficult - more stressful for me and Susanne. I think Charlie knows that. It's our punishment for being his torturers. He is vengeful and it's hard to blame him for that due to the very unpleasant circumstance we find ourselves in.  Like an abused puppy, he pulls away and retreats when we try to console him.

When the moment passes, he comes back to us - burying his head into our bellies.

Until the dark side comes calling again.

I think we've all had enough.