A co-worker of mine recently told me about her morbidly obese future sister-in-law, who has "diabetes real bad."

"It doesn't exactly work that way," I told her, smirking like a diabetes snob. I went into the difference between type 1 and type 2 and told her that one doesn't get a bad case of diabetes. It's not like acne. So young, I thought. So naïve, I thought. So wrong.

A week later, Charlie left for school for the first time with 5th century BC type numbers (416, 422, 407). I wouldn't have minded seeing some middle Hellenistic period numbers to be honest. He even had a 598 thrown in there just because. It appeared as if the anticipation of the school day was jacking his blood sugars up insanely. How can this be? How do we even begin to combat that? Is this normal? Does this happen to you? To your child?

Wait a second! I think my son has a bad case of diabetes!

What other myths are actually true? I bet it's contagious too. I bet that kid at the playground on Sunday who was touching everything with his boogery little fingers got some of his diabetes on Charlie. You know what? Come to think of it, he did look kind of diabetish.

Perhaps the answer is to keep him as emotionless as trout. Not too excited and not too nervous. Just there. Indifferent.

It may require some reprimanding.

"Charlie! You better wipe that excitement right off your face! You're not setting one foot in that school until you can show me that you don't care."